Thursday, May 30, 2019

And Into the Forest I Go to Lose My Mind and Find My Soul

It is the end of an era, and I didn't even take any pictures.

Today was the very last day for me to babysit the three kids I have been watching since I was pregnant with Vince. He is now 3. I love those kids dearly, and am really going to miss them. I am also really going to love not worrying about Vince who wanders off (he did it again today, because the neighbor's toys are just so much more fun than ours!), and being able to really focus and help Beth with her reading. I dropped the ball last year and didn't help her as much as I should of, or really needed to. I was over-run with babies and little people, and just trying to survive. It dawned on me the other day, that I have just been in survival mode since I started babysitting. I have been surviving and hanging on as best I can, but I haven't really been living! I was just trying to get from moment to moment, feeling sad that I wasn't cherishing every moment, remembering when life was simpler and I could actually blog (because I really do miss blogging, I just don't have the time for it anymore!), and take my kids to fun places, and just enjoy being their mom!

I am not sure what the future holds, or if I will even be able to do any of that again. Maybe life has chugged along, and I was too busy running as fast as I could to catch up, that I missed the beauty along the track. I am going to be watching another friend's kids. This happened just last week. But it will only be for a few hours, 2 days a week, so I feel like I will still be able to actually focus on my kids, and be their mom. Also, it will only be two kids, instead of the three I have been watching. But again, I really am going to miss those little ones. They could be as sweet as syrup when they wanted to be.

I made cookies today. Both of the chocolate chip and the no bake variety. I also made a delicious roasted carrot soup for dinner. I spent basically the whole afternoon in the kitchen, and it was lovely. Subsequently I have learned that my children prefer the chocolate no bake cookies to any other type. Who knew? Weirdos. It was wonderful having the house full of delicious smells, and talking to Brynlee while I finished up with the grilled cheese sandwiches for our dinner.

Right now is a rare quiet moment, and I am so in love with it! The windows are open, and a spring drizzle just started up outside. The smells, oh the smells! It reminds me very much of autumn and that heavenly earthy spicy smell that intoxicates me and permeates the air. I love hearing the rain falling, too. The staccato on my roof, and the comfort of knowing that it isn't going to leak since we replaced it last October. And then the wind, coming in through my window, and seeming to suck out the old stank air, replacing it with life and living and tranquility. I just have to say, this moment is very nearly perfect! I would call it completely perfect f a little three year old wasn't curled up, one leg draped over my shoulder, and one draped over my lap. The boy just likes to be comfortable, I guess!

I wasn't babysitting every day, and so I was still able to do some fun things, it is true. Last week was the last week of school for my kids. I was going stir crazy, and so I took my kiddos to a lovely nature preserve... 3 days in a row. The workers commented that I must really love dank dreary days, because every day that we went happened to be drizzly and cool. Jacket weather. Which is actually my favorite, so, you can't go wrong there. We got muddy, and the little three loved stomping through the puddles!

I was torn. Should I let them experience the joy of puddle stomping? Or should I let them experience the comfort of having dry feet for our whole walk? We compromised and they stomped through puddles until I caught them and steered them around the puddles... at each and every puddle.

But oh, it was delightful, and I am scheming about taking them tomorrow again. Because it is rainy right now, so why not? But the green of the wild grass and trees is simply breathtaking!

Just a note, all of these pictures are from our excursions last week.

"The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives." ~ Russell M. Nelson

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