Wednesday, November 28, 2018

Termination Letter

Untitled

Moon Hollow Family Enterprises
November 27,  2018

Dear Tuesday,

This letter is to inform you that your employment with Moon Hollow Family Enterprises will end effective immediately.

You have been terminated for the following reasons:
  • Failure to alert the family that morning had come, thus making everyone nearly late and hungry as per no time for breakfast.
  • You failed to properly clothe children for the cold weather allowing them to  leave their coats home. Upper management was reprimanded by school staff.
  • Vince was super Vince-ified today. Lucky for you he was not naughty, just overly curious, adventurous, and busy. Fortuitous for you he didn't pull a stunt like he did on Monday's watch; going outside to play in the snow wearing only a diaper and boots while management was rocking the baby to sleep so they were unable to stop him or retrieve him. He did come in before neighbors called CPS, and before he got too cold, which was Monday's saving grace. He did immediately go back out yelling about snowballs but again, that only lasted 5 minutes.
  • I (Mother) had only one goal today and that was to clean the living room, but somehow, Tuesday, you thwarted me at every turn. The children were extra clingy, extra needy, and extra fight-y. They followed me around promptly pulling out everything I had just cleaned. You failed in the simple task of helping to distract them elsewhere.
  • The oven is full of burned on butter, causing too much smoke when turned on, this ruining dinner's plans
  • All of the pots and pans have begun to flake off their non-stick coating, making them unusable. Mother was forced to throw her last one away today, making food preparations impossible. More than that, it signified am end of an era as those pans  had been a wedding gift. Why you allowed them to be thrown out on your day is beyond Management's comprehension, when you were already skating on thin ice.
  • On top of everything else, it was found that you have been pilfering Sleep. None of the babies were found with it, to the extent that Kip was still awake at the writing of this, having had no nap, mind you, at 11:30 pm. 
  • Finally, you made the dog need to go out to poop twice in one night! Middle of the night, mind you. That was just not cool.

This decision is not reversible.

Miraculously, Mother was quick to think on her toes and found multiple ways to allow life to continue at Moon Hollow Family Enterprises. When the Littles were causing irreparable damage she took them and the dog for a walk. When the bigger kid fighting became overwhelming she separated and assigned chores. Keith was assigned to help install Christmas lights. When Mother became overwhelmed and angry by the consistency of your messes, Tuesday, she concocted a plan. Jeffrey would get home, they would eat dinner (something quick and easy, not what was previously planned), they would get into the van, go get report card donuts, Mother would bring along hot chocolate (laced with melatonin) and we would go see the Christmas Lights at the park. 

Plans were executed with the hiccup that someone had accidentally thrown away Kip's pajamas (I suspect it was also you but don't have proof). But Tuesday, we defied you! T

he park was beautiful and not crowded and not too cold. We were even able to participate in the Rotary Club's game of finding the elf to get a prize! 

Untitled

Untitled     Untitled

As we were walking along, some lovely young men (without coats *gasp*!)  gave us a candy cane with a sweet little message about the meaning of Christmas and the symbolism of the candy cane.

Untitled

I was so happy about that, loving that our Family Night was able to take a spiritual turn. I plan to print out a bunch of these sayings and go somewhere with the children to hand out candy canes with this sweet message as well. I loved that! It gives me great hope for the world when I see people going around doing good for no other reason than to do good. 

Untitled

Untitled

Untitled

When everyone got home from an incredibly delightful evening, the kids put themselves to bed. Except for the baby, who insisted on staying awake until midnight. The very same baby who had refused all naps during the day, another example of your fine handiwork! 

Tuesday, you will receive compensation, including pay for unused leave, severance pay, salary owed, etc. 

You are requested to return all company property, and training for the next Tuesday who will be replacing you.

Keep in mind, you have signed a confidentiality policy and as such are bound to keep the craziness within Moon Hollow Family Enterprises to yourself. 

If you have questions about policies you have signed, your compensation, benefits, or returning company property, please contact Mother within the next 5 days.

Sincerely,

Amy
Aka Mother
Post a Comment