After a grueling nine months of illness and extreme exhaustion, I am so pleased to say that I feel like I am getting back to my old self.
Schedules are being remembered, my grumpiness is waning, and glory be, my house is finally getting cleaned again! I have had a clean kitchen and living room for two days straight, a record since getting pregnant! And I don't mean I never cleaned during those nine months, because I did. I just didn't seem to have the energy to stay on top of things. I would clean a room, walk out, the kids would mess it up, I would try to get them to clean up their messes, a fight would ensue, and someone would break out in tears, usually me. I would give up, go lock myself in my bedroom, and just be alone until I could be around people again.
Rinse and repeat.
Every. single. day.
But I haven't had to do any deep cleaning, because I have been on top of things, and I have felt up to getting things done, and it feels glorious!
My life isn't consumed with feeding Vince as much as it was that first week. I can put him down for an hour or two at a time and get things done, and what a sweet boy he is, he just sits in his bouncer, happily, either awake and thoughtfully watching what is going on around him with those big baby grey eyes of his, or sleeping, soaking up the sun. Because of course, when I put him in the bouncer it is with as much of his Oompa-loompa orange skin exposed to soak up the lovely sun, spilling through our windows, to help drop those darn bilirubin levels which have been steadily climbing.
I recently read the most gorgeous thing, written by CS Lewis. He said "The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only- and that is to support the ultimate career."
What a lovely sentiment! While nursing Vince today, I decided to catch up on reading some favorite blogs. NieNie Dialogues showed up and so I spent my time reading and being re-inspired by her passion and love for this wonderful calling of Motherhood. It really is the ultimate career. There are so many things said in jest about mothers having to be experts in all fields from chef, to taxi driver, CPA to home doctor, etc. But the privlige we mothers have to witness these huge spirits in little bodies grow and learn, to guide them and teach them is the most spectacular thing ever! How on earth did I get to be so lucky to be entrusted with four of these giants of spirits?! These children teach me so much, and we learn so much every single day that we are together. What a blessing they are in my life! Stephanie Nielson has inspired me yet again to capture the little moments of every day. To capture the tears and the laughter, the accidents and the chaos, and to find the beauty in it.
The kids have been very tired lately, so today has been a day with a focus very much on rest. We didn't go to church, which makes me sad. I really wanted the kids to go, but what with daylight savings time, and being up so late feeding the baby, I didn't even wake up until around 10:00, and then by the time I was through feeding the baby, there was no hope to get them there for even the last class. Sad. Hopefully next week we will do better. I am anxious for the day we are all at church, as a complete family with my little Mister Baby Man. But we usually keep the baby home for at least a month, especially when said baby is born in times of illness. Which means Jeffrey and I will be taking turns taking the kids to church until we feel Vince is strong enough to be around everyone.
Going along with our day of rest, we have done some serious journaling, reading, and right now Faye is meditating, while Keith is in bed, "resting." I love that today has been so peaceful and restful. We have enjoyed candles and tea with some dark chocolate turtle poke cake. We have talked, laughed, and a few fights broke out. But all in all, it has been such a lovely day!
I hope that I can cherish these moments a little more deeply, and share my love and appreciation with the children a little more often.