Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Delicious Humble Pie

When I got pregnant in June, that translated into me getting sick in July, and staying sick through to... well, I don't actually know, to be honest. Until recently, at any rate. Because of that, a lot of my cleaning schedule went down-hill, or was completely ignored and forgotten. Months of just going through the laundry room, finding a few clothes to wear for the week, washing just those, and leaving a huge heaping mess. And when the kids went in search of clothes, they were like a dog digging, clothes being flung about, scattered wherever they happened to land, and promptly ignored after that. I did my best to keep the surface of our house clean, the areas where people would see were always quickly straightened before company came over. Whenever we would try to get the kids on board with cleaning, they did what kids are best at. They would take everything from the family room and throw it into the laundry room. Seven months of this created the most spectacular mess ever. The laundry room/craft room floor was completely carpeted with toys, clothes, and any other dodad that the kids didn't know where to put. Once the floor was a few feet deep beneath the mayhem, the chaos climbed up onto the counters and completely overtook them.

That was the downstairs black hole.

Upstairs, we had quite a different black hole. It was called Faye's bedroom.

I know I have written about this before, but her room seems to be in a permanent state of pandemonium. No matter what we do, her room is an abyss that seems to suck in any sort of anything. It became a sort of joke that if we can't find something, it is most likely in her bedroom. Like the laundry room, her room floor had a couple of feet of anarchy, silently trying to take over the house.

Because of those two rooms in my house, and the mountainous layers of laundry that needed to be attended to, my stress sometimes seemed to choke me. I have absolutely nothing ready for the baby. Nothing! I did not want to get anything out of the shed because it would just get swallowed up in the lawlessness of the house. Really, there was no point.

Which obviously created a problem for this third trimester-nesting-at-full-force mama.

And so, I tried to tackle the mess on my own. Except Little Man had other plans. I was merely trying to fold some clothes while watching a movie with the kids on Sunday after church, when my Little Man decided he didn't like me moving around. At all. Now, it is important to note that this little boy is stubbornly sitting upright, aka breech. He head buts me all the time, which causes quite a bit of discomfort. More than that, though, I believe his foot is stuck down near my cervix, and when I move around much, he kicks. He kicks and kicks and the pain is both startling, sudden, and somewhat suffocating! He has been randomly causing this pain for quite some time now, but on Sunday he decided that he would kick every minute or so. I contacted Christy (my midwife) and she told me to knock it off. I needed to quite doing anything that would cause him to kick, and if it didn't let up in an hour or two, I would need to go to L&D to get checked out. Which is obviously something I want to avoid at all costs, because I know I am not in labor, I just don't want him to kick through the cervix and come too early! And so, I stopped.

I stopped and I looked at the mess in my laundry room and remembered the mess in Faye's room, and my heart sank. There honestly seemed to be no way to get it all done and the despair tried to settle in and make itself at home. But I am not the sort of person who makes things easy for despair. We are not friends, and if he ever comes to visit, I do what I can to get him to leave immediately.

And so, I took a deep breath, ate a very large slice of Humble Pie, and called my mother for help. I don't like to ask other people to come in and clean up our messes. They didn't make them, so why should they have to clean them? I don't like asking people to come help me do things I should be able to do on my own. It is so very difficult for me to admit that I can't actually do it, and that I need to allow others to step in and help me. And so I called my mom.

She is so wonderful! She immediately said yes, and both she and my dad came over Monday to help me with the laundry room. If I stand up for long, the pain hits and I have to stop what I am doing and sit down. It was so incredibly difficult to let them clean for me. I kept trying to help, because I know where things belong and they don't. It is easy for me to delegate one thing while I am working on another, but my mother kept threatening to leave if I didn't sit on the floor and play a little Raja, directing them on where to put things. Apparently I would make terrible royalty! But together we got my laundry room black hole clean! And things were found, and it was exciting and it looks so lovely now. And all the while we were cleaning the laundry room, Adrienne was upstairs in my kitchen, in stealth mode, cleaning. Because she is wonderful like that. When I saw all of the work that people had done, all the service they had offered me, I was overcome. I nearly broke down in tears because I was so grateful. There are not words sufficient to express my gratitude to them! It feels so good to have a clean laundry room!

This morning, I woke up, not sure what I was going to do with my day, but fully expecting to babysit. Brickale (the mom) texted me to tell me she was sick and so wouldn't be bringing the girls by. When I heard that, I knew it was a blessing in disguise. It was a chance for me to get Faye's room clean! Fired up by the great success of yesterday, I took another large helping of Humble Pie and sent my mom a text. Like the angel she is, she gladly responded to my plea and said she could come over after work. In the meantime, I got down a busy. Beth and I worked on that mess for two and a half hours before we had to go pick up Faye from school. I kept pushing myself to go faster and do more. It wasn't bad, because I could do it while sitting, so I wasn't getting the cervical kicks. But when it was time to go and get her, it seemed to me we had barely made a dent, and I was discouraged.

Tuesdays are crazy. I pick up Faye and her friend. I drop her friend off and then take Beth and Taelyn to dance. I then rush off to get Brynlee from her school (she does not attend the one my kids go to), and then we go back to the dance class and wait for them to finish. Faye and Bryn are always invited to join (since the class basically consists of Beth and Taelyn right now). The four girls prance around, laughing and playing, and then I take them all home from lunch, and put the two littles down for their afternoon naps, thoroughly worn out and ready for sleep! It is crazy, but I love it. And so, I did the mad rushing about with school pick up and dance and naps. Once Beth was finally sleeping, Faye and I decided it was time to head on into her room and see what we could do.

Daunting, I tell you. Even after my work from all that morning, it looked like the surface had just been scratched. I sat down anyway, armed with my garbage bag and a basket for clothes, and we set to work. Or rather, I prayed for patience and the ability to not yell at Faye while I cleaned her room, and she flitted about, landing on nearly everything, like a curious little butterfly discovering new flowers. My mom came, and that is when things seemed to really pick up. I made her some lunch, and then together, she and I tackled that anarchist rebellion of a room. We struck hard and fast with order, organization, and law. And I threw so much stuff away. I have learned it is very hard for my mom to clean with me because I want to get rid of everything. If it is a stub of a broken crayon, I want it in the trash, because I know if I keep it in my house, it will gravitate back to Faye's room, and that spot in Faye's room, and there will never be cleanliness or order. I suspect messes are habitual creatures and like to return to their favorite places. Faye has made her room into a haven for messes, and so everything we try to put away keeps finding its way back to its spot in her room. My mom, on the other hand doesn't live with Faye, and so doesn't understand this as well. She kept trying to talk me into keeping things I wanted to toss. I am brutal when it comes to throwing things away. I would much rather toss something than have it hanging around, waiting for the day I might use it... unless it is a crafting sort of thing. I have so much of that, just in case!

We kept encouraging Faye, telling her she couldn't go to her dance class if she didn't get her room clean in time.

We kept fighting and fighting the mess until it was vanquished! We moved her bed around, making room for when Beth will be moving in to share that room with her (at a future, not yet determined, date).

Her room is clean. My laundry room is nearly clean. In cleaning Faye's room, we found 4 baskets full of clothes. Not just hers, Beth's, Keith's, and Jeffrey's clothes were all mixed in with hers. I am waiting for the clothes to wash right now, actually, so that I can go to bed. But the feeling of gratitude and accomplishment is great tonight. Faye is thrilled to have a clean room. She wanted to read in her room, and draw in her room, and work on her animal report for school in there. She is being so careful to keep her room clean (we'll see how long that lasts), and I know that she feels so good to have it looking as good as it does. Despite all the times she told me she likes it dirty. Silly girl.

I am so thankful for a mom and dad who can come and help when it is needed. I am thankful that things lined up so that they were able to come and help me when I needed it, and that those things are done and taken care of now. Two of the biggest things on my list are taken care of. What a wonderful feeling to know that I am looked after and cared for. I know that all of this happened because God has been so aware of my worries and stressors. I know that it is because of Him that everything lined up perfectly so that my parents and even Adrienne were able to come and help, at the drop of a hat. I really didn't give people much notice. What a humbling experience it has been.

Now, I just need to get this baby to flip!


Chantel said...

Please call me if you need help. I actually like to clean. Cooking... not so much but cleaning!!! I'm there. Plus, I live with Avy. She and Faye are two of a kind.

*Jess* said...

I bet that feels SO much better! I have black holes of disaster in my house as well. I'm sitting in one right now! I told the kids that they had to help me clean the bonus room on Saturday if they wanted video games this weekend :)

Lisa said...


Randomlicious Memoirs said...

What a blessing, your parents are truly saints. If I asked My mom to come help me she would laugh in my face and then tell me I didn't have a job so I can do it. Lol so wonderful for you to get help because as a mom things can get really stressful when you are the only one tending to things in the household. I feel it so much when I look around at the messes and think I just wish I could get some help around here, not 4 other people fighting against me. It's so hard, so I get how humbling it would be to receive those blessings!! My daughters room is a mess also and every time it's clean she wants to play in it or bring more toys in there, we have a toy room and they don't keep toys in their rooms but somehow they always end up there. Lol! Hopefully she keeps it clean and hopefully your sweet little bun will turn! Best wishes!!!

Susan Anderson said...

So glad you let them help, and I am sure they loved doing it for you.


Xazmin said...

Oh how I love reading your blog. I wish I made it here more often. This is a bit old, so I hope everything is going well with you.

I loved reading this post - I can relate so well to everything you said. Right now my entire house is a hole! I'm so glad you were able to get some help and have some piece of mind!