The Week of Tender Mercies and Comedic Mishaps

This week has been ridiculous!

Monday I woke up intending to clean. Because honestly, the bedrooms need it. I keep promising myself I will clean, and it keeps not happening. So I was determined.

Except I got a wicked migraine.

I tried water. It didn't do anything except make me nauseous.

I tried Tylenol. As expected, it did absolutely nothing for the pain.

I tried caffeine. It didn't touch the migraine one iota.

I tried sleep. Except I have a 2 year old who is in constant physical contact with me. Usually I love it, but not when I have a migraine. And not when the 5 year old gets home from school at 11. And not when I am supposed to watch my cousins boys after school.

So I called my midwife, thinking she would sympathize with me, but ultimately say "I'm sorry, there really isn't anything else you can take."

And that is when my miracle happened!

She actually answered the phone instead of her nurse, or the voicemail. I talked to her a bit about what I have done, and asked if there was anything at all, because I cannot live with a migraine like that! And then she offered me lortab. Lortab does the exact thing that Tylenol does to me. Absolutely nothing. She suggested Tylenol with codeine in it. As aforementioned, Tylenol doesn't do anything, and the one time I had codeine in my cough syrup, it made me so loopy, I vowed I would never take it again. Finally, she offered me percocet. Since I have never had it, and I was desperate, I decided to go for it. But because it is a controlled substance, the prescription has to be handwritten and hand-delivered to the pharmacy instead of called in or sent in electronically. Jeffrey, the wonderful man that he is, knew of my plight and so decided to come home early to help me with this because I really couldn't drive with my head in the pain it was. As we were driving to get the script, we had to stop at a tire place to fix a flat! And by the time that was fixed, we realized we wouldn't have time to get up to my midwife's office and back to the school in time to get the boys, not to mention Keith's class treat for his birthday since his birthday was over Fall break! So we turned around, got the boys, and made them all suffer in the car ride to get the script, and then to the pharmacy to get my prescription. By the time we got home, the poor boys only had 15 minutes to play together. I felt bad, but really, there wasn't anything I could do about it.

I took the percocet, and have learned that from now on, the only time for me to ever take that stuff is if it is right before I go to sleep. It made me very dizzy, which made me sick. 10 minutes before a family dinner. Sad, I know.

Tuesday, however, really made up for Monday. It was the eye of the storm. It was my birthday, and when I woke up, Jeffrey surprised me by staying home from work that day. I had a very relaxed morning, and then around noon I got to go to Adrienne's house, childless, and I visited her for a good 4 hours without a single call from Jeffrey asking me to come home. I think that is a record! And it was perfect! It was relaxing and peaceful and we laughed so much, and wondered why we don't get together more often because even though I see her probably more than any of my other friends, it just doesn't seem like enough, ever! Her kids were a little mad that I didn't bring mine with me, though. Best of all, Adrienne gave me the best accidental birthday gift I have ever wanted! She realized she had borrowed my Something Wicked This Way Comes! 

I have my book again! Except sort of, because I had actually gone to the library and gotten a copy of it that very day, because one way or another, I was going to read that book this week! Except now, Adrienne still has it, and we are going to read it together, which makes it infinitely better!  When I got home, we loaded the kids into the van and dropped them off at their grandparent's house so Jeffrey could take me on a date. I got some delicious curry, and we talked and really enjoyed the food and each other's company, so much. I couldn't believe that we had been in the restaurant for an hour and a half! And then we did the chore part of the date. None of my previous maternity clothes fit me, so we went clothes shopping, which happens to be one of my least favorite things to do in the world! Jeffrey was very happy with the Star Wars steering wheel cover and Darth Vader mugs he found. I found a wonderful plaid shirt, and get to return the two others because they really don't fit as well as I thought. But he was very pleased with our excursion, so that makes it wonderful. I went to bed that night feeling happy and rested.

And then that night happened. Faye had a nightmare, so she came to cuddle in the middle of the night. Except she sleeps like a fish gasping for its last breath, flopping desperately around. Basically impossible for a light sleeper to sleep next to her. After about 30 minutes of that, I began pleading with Jeffrey to take her back to her bed, where she tricks her into sleeping with him, and I get to sprawl, and the three of us are all happy, because we can all sleep. Things played out exactly as I had planned, except about an hour later, Keith came up because he had a nightmare and was scared. Sigh. He climbed into bed with me, and immediately fell asleep as a heat seeking missile. It didn't matter where I went on the bed, he would always find me and squish up against me so that in the end, I was on the edge of the bed, clinging for dear life, and Keith was deeply sleeping, happily unaware of the discomfort he was causing. Somehow I was able to fall asleep like that, though how, I can't quite figure out.

My phone rang at 7:03. It was one of my renters calling to tell me that there was flooding in the basement of the house. I asked her if she could tell me the source, but she couldn't.


And so, as soon as the kids were off to school, Beth and I got to go up and figure it out. Luckily it was from a drain backing up and not a leaking water heater! And so I called a plumber to go out and fix it, except I don't know the schedules of the 4 girls living there, or when they will be home to let the plumber in. So I got a quote and then asked the girls to call and schedule it...

Faye came home from school with a problem. She needed to use the bathroom, but when she tried, it was excruciatingly painful. She sat on the potty and when it came out, she screamed and clung to me. Tears streamed down her face, and the screams were heart wrenching! When I helped her wipe, I saw there was blood on the toilet paper. Knowing the painful feeling probably meant she had a UTI, I was planning on just taking care of it on my own. When I saw the blood, I decided it would be best if I could get a doctor to step in and help take care of it. I called and made an appointment with her doctor, and got her to drink a lot of water. She had a full Gatorade, and nearly a full water bottle of cranberry juice. And she refused to use the bathroom. I took her to her appointment, and she refused to go. 

This was the sweet nurse who gave her the candy bar. Love her!
Her appointment was at 4, the doctor couldn't see her until he got a urine sample and could assess the situation and so, she and I paced the hall, her indecision following us and blocking every positive step forward. The memory of the pain was too great. The nurses promised her a king sized candy bar. She also asked them to cheer and clap for her when she finally did go. One nurse put a sticker of Olaf on the bottom of the urine catcher so that he would be made of "yellow snow." I thought that was funny, though Faye didn't quite get it. I promised her a girl's night where she and I would watch the new Cinderella, and a new water bottle of her very own. She had been using Keith's. And then Jeffrey told her he would take the training wheels off her bike, and get her a new helmet. All this, just so she would go to the bathroom! When the doctor finally did come in, he said he was impressed with how long she held out! But when the nurse mentioned going over to the hospital to get a catheter put in, I think all these little things are so worth it to not have to do that! She tested positive for a UTI, and he was going to culture the urine to make sure nothing else was wrong.

When we all got home for the night, and were just simply ready for the day to be done, Jeffrey told me about his day. It consisted of phone guys trying to fix something, but not knowing what to fix. They tried anyway, and something happened, so they had to call the ambulance. They asked Jeffrey to go out and direct the first responders in to where they guy was. While he was about to do that, he got to diffuse a situation of a very fed up and frustrated tech support guy. While all this was going on, I was calling him, trying to give him updates on Faye.

We laughed at how ridiculous everything was, and decided to go to bed early, because that day just needed to end! I was so grateful that I had had such a wonderful and restful day before all of that. I know that it was a tender mercy that all of this stuff waited a day to happen so that I could have a peaceful day to prepare as it were.

Today was basically normal. I got the kids off to school early. I went in and talked to Faye's teacher about her having a water bottle in class, and asked her to please encourage her to use the bathroom as she hadn't yet that morning. Her teacher is wonderful and did a great job helping Faye to drink, and Faye is simply stubborn. The memory of the pain was still fresh in her mind, so she just didn't say anything and anytime anyone asked her if she needed to go to the bathroom, she would say no. I hoped she would go for her teacher if she wouldn't go for me. Beth and I then went home. I was again going to tackle the bedrooms today, but just when I finished fixing Beth's hair, I got a call from the school. Faye had had an accident and I needed to pick her up or bring her a change of clothes. I hunted through her clothes, and there wasn't a single pair of underwear left clean! So, I picked Faye up from the school, and we went to the store to get some undies so she would have something clean to put on and not exacerbate her infection.

Beth was tired, I got tired, Faye was loud and woke Beth up from her nap. Keith and Faye played outside while I tried to summon the energy to get up and do anything at all around the house. We needed to go visit my dad for his birthday today, and to go to my niece's birthday party today. The kids were so excited!

Except Jeffrey got home from work late. He had to make up for missing Tuesday, so he has been staying late every day this week. When he got home, he just went to bed as he wasn't feeling well. I made some delicious herb crusted salmon that I was so excited to try for dinner, with a side of brussle sprouts. It looked beautiful! I pulled the fish out of the oven, though, and it smelled a bit fishy. But I had just bought it the day before, so it couldn't be too bad, I reasoned.

And then I tasted it.

We ended up throwing that big beautiful fish which tasted like ammonia and rotten kelp out and ordering a pizza. I did not feel well after taste testing that fish. It was horrible! And what a waste of all those lovely herbs and the parmesan cheese. I was so sad to say goodbye to that lying majestic and delicious looking dinner. The kids were so excited, though. They always want pizza instead of anything. And the brussle sprouts were salvageable, which I ate happily.

All the while, I couldn't help but laugh at the way things seem to be adamantly against my plans for cleaning lately. Anytime I set aside a day to clean, something happens which keeps me from being able to do what I need to do. My fingers are crossed that tomorrow morning will be different. I am hoping to go hiking in the afternoon, if I can just get at least one of the bedrooms clean tomorrow, I will feel like I finally have done something!

But really, where would the humor in that be?


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