Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Make the Sun Forget His Motion!

O, for an engine, to keep back all clocks, 
Or make the sun forget his motion!
~ Ben Jonson

It all began a few weeks ago.  I was asked to go in to meet with the Bishop.  Which means I would be getting a calling (a job to do in my church).  The day I was to go in and find out what that calling would be, I was talking to my sister and I mentioned that I would most likely be put in the Primary, because I am always put in the primary.  I have rarely been anywhere else, and going to Relief Society (the women's meeting) is nearly unheard of for me!  

And so, I went in that night and met with one of the Bishop's counselors and there was a bit of chit chat. And then he said "we would like to extend the call of Primary. 

President to you."

Yes, I actually heard a break between those words. It seemed to last forever, that break did. 

I choked.  I asked him if he meant teacher and the word president just popped out.  He smiled kindly at me and assured me that he did in fact mean president.

I choked again.

I gasped for air.

I was so surprised.  I felt like I had just been doused with a hydrant of cold water.  

And I sat, stunned.

Because I have never had such a demanding calling.  I have never had such responsibility.  And I was terrified.  But because I believe that these callings come from the Lord, and I can never tell God no, I said yes.  

And that is when Father Time decided to put things into fast forward for me.

And that is also about the time that Beth stopped sleeping all together.
This is after she screamed herself to sleep for a few hours.  I wanted so badly to move the blanket and yet was so scared that it would wake her up again.  I think I did move it because it looked like she couldn't breathe, and she woke up.  Sigh.
Prior to that, she would sleep fitfully, but she would take on average 3 naps a day.  And she would sleep at night, waking once to eat, and then usually would go back to sleep.

That week Beth decided she was through with naps.  And she decided she didn't like to sleep at all anymore. She slowly weaned herself off of her naps altogether, and slowly began to wean herself off of sleeping at night.  All of this reaching a horrible climax last week where I got on average 3 hours of sleep a night.

I had been so proud of myself because a month earlier I had given up caffeine and soda.  And then the 3 hours of sleep a night for more than a week happened, and I had to start up with the caffeine again because I couldn't survive without it.

Between organizing things for primary and trying to survive on no sleep, and dealing with a zombie baby, I am sort of ready for time to just stop now.  To stop and let me get off and take a few deep breaths and enjoy a few moments of not having to do something important.  That would be nice.

But you know what?  This isn't so bad either.  I really feel like I am progressing where I had been stagnant before.  I am learning a lot about trusting in Heavenly Father, and I am learning a lot about my baby. Like the fact that she is so happy with just one nap a day, but that nap will be between 3-4 hours long.  And she has begun to sleep through the night again.  And if that darn front tooth would just break through finally, she and I would both be a whole lot happier!  I am learning that she is so incredibly different from her brother and sister.  I am learning that I have an amazing support group all around me, physically and electronically (I'm talking 'bout YOU friend!).  And most importantly, I am learning that Heavenly Father really truly does care about each and every little problem we may have, and He absolutely answers prayers.  Oh my goodness, prayers are answered! 

Because through these past few weeks with my new calling and my baby not sleeping so I have been absolutely exhausted, there has been serious drama with one of my renters.  One day she was texting me over and over with a new problem every 5 minutes or so it seemed.  Problems that I didn't know how to solve, and she was getting angry and mean in her texts, and I collapsed by my bed just crying because I was so tired and I didn't know how to fix her, and I just begged for help and in the middle of my prayer, I got a text.  Hearing that notification sound just made me feel like I was being buried alive and I couldn't handle it anymore and I just felt done.  And I continued to pray for a good 5 more minutes (that is as long as my kids could stand to let me be alone in my room with the door closed).  And when I finished praying, I looked at my phone, and it was a text from the drama girl telling me she was over reacting, and she was sorry for being so mean, and it wasn't a big deal after all.

The drama was completely gone right then.  And I was completely in awe of how attentive God is with us.

So, if I don't seem to be around much, it isn't for lack of desire, it is because I am so completely overwhelmed, or my baby is finally sleeping, and instead of writing or doing anything else, I will be sleeping too, thank you very much!


Lisa said...

Oh Amy I'm so happy to hear that you're figuring Beth's sleeping schedule! And I'm sure you're doing wonderfully as primary president. And what an awesome testimony of prayer. Thanks for that!

*Jess* said...

wow, primary president! You can do this!! :)

Amy said...

After many hours of tearful prayer because I was so exhausted and frustrated, I was taught a few things about my baby. What a blessing! Primary still scares me, but my counselors are amazing and so inspire me with a lot more hope. I am not doing this alone. And oh my goodness, this month has been testimony after testimony of prayer. All month long. It has been incredible!

Amy said...

Thank you for the confidence. It is scary, but I think I can get it figured out, too!