Isn't it funny how life can be both chaotic and peaceful at the same time?  I feel like I am running a marathon, and yet I couldn't be happier or more at peace with things happening in my life.

Today was a busy day.

How I sometimes long for the quiet days of yore.

Beth had her 4 month check up and while some of my concerns were alleviated, some which were not even on the radar were heightened.

My sweet baby has had a terrible bout with conjunctivitis lately (see, we are on official name basis.  Aka pinkeye).  She got it for the first time about a month and a half ago and has had it five times since then. Unfortunately, this means she quite possibly has nasolacrimal duct obstruction.  Which is a fancy way to say her tear ducts are clogged because they are not large enough.  Faye had this as well, though she didn't have constant conjunctivitis.  Faye just had a tear forever glistening on her lower lashes.  Normally, we would just watch it, and if it was still an issue between six and nine months, we would traipse all over town, paying visits to first one specialist and then another until it was finally decided to preform a procedure on her which would put her under and poke a needle like thing through her ducts to widen them.  And hope that it worked (it worked on Faye), and if not, install some ceramic tubes in her tear ducts.

Lucky for us, Beth has an appointment with the ophthalmologist at Primary Children's (a pediatric hospital) next week to inspect her red spot, and I can have them check her ducts while I am there.  Tender mercy right there, folks!

We also learned at her checkup that Beth is not gaining weight.  She is the same weight she was at her 2 month check up.  She is a chunky baby and has the most adorable leg rolls I have ever seen, but she dropped from 87th percentile down to 50th in two months.  Honestly, I know why.  It seems she has an aversion to me eating eggs.

Or food.

And since that is what I was eating for breakfast every morning, (the eggs) and it took me about a month of her not eating much at all to figure it out, she has not gained a lot of weight.  Sadly, there is something else I am eating that she doesn't like because she is doing it again, so I get to go through the trial and error to figure it out.  Fun stuff, people.  I am praying that it isn't chocolate because I have a love affair with hot cocoa during the winter months.

After we got home from all our errands, I lit a fire for the kids.

Who am I kidding, it was really for me.

We sat in front of the fire for a good portion of the afternoon.  I was busy looking up ways to earn money from home (because as fun as it is being a stay at home mom, fun doesn't pay the bills), Keith was quietly playing with his legos on the organ bench, Beth was sleeping on the couch next to me, and Faye was hopping up and down like a crazy person.  Crying at the drop of a hat, laughing over everything else, and just being so energetic, I couldn't handle it.  I love that they followed me around the house to play, and just wanted to be near me, but when the grumpies take over, something has to be done.  I sent Faye outside to run ten laps, do twenty jumping jacks, and ten push-ups in the hopes that it would help to get some of her energy out.

Clearly I had forgotten when my parents did that to me it infused me with more energy.

Eventually, I had had enough since they both kept waking up the baby who had not had a decent nap all day, and I sent them to their friend's house.

Because sometimes Mom just needs a break from the tantrums and chaotic energy.

But when they got home and when Jeffrey got home and we were all together, I couldn't help but smile.  I love having my family all around me.  I love when Beth goes to sleep and I get one on one time with Keith and Faye.  I love the cuddling, the laughing, the joke telling.  I love snuggling in Keith's bed with him while we read Harry Potter (book 4!) together, and Faye plays on her bed, or climbs down and settles on the small of my back, not wanting to be left out. And I love my me time when the house is quiet and they have all gone to bed.

Today, when Faye said a blessing on the food, she said "Bless my mom to love me more than Keith, and more than anyone in the whole world, and then to love me even more than that so I can be her favorite ever!" except that is the condensed version because she went on for a good while along that same vein.  Silly girl. Except it almost makes me a little sad, because I wonder if she feels neglected.  I spend so much time with the baby, just feeding her, holding her, putting her to sleep, etc.  I spend so much time with Keith at the end of the day.  We read together every night for at least a half hour.  I spend most of the day with Faye, running errands, but not really one on one time.  I need to remedy that soon.


And now the night winds down and I am so happy for this me time. The gentle hum of the dishwasher, the occasional rustle over the monitor from Beth, and the quiet drizzle of the rain all tell me that this is good.  The laundry can wait.  The books Faye spread all over the basement floor, intermingling with the laundry, it all can wait while I relax and unwind from a busy day.

Because in just a few short hours, the adventure gets to begin all over again.


Susan Anderson said…
Always love your posts, Amy. You are a good writer!

Emmy said…
Her prayer! Too funny. So did it work? ;) lol love kids. Yes sometimes we do need breaks as moms as they usually do help us remember why we love being moms so much.

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