I slumped over my meal, not really eating it. Buried in my tiredness I made designs with my fork in the red sauce, waiting for energy to somehow seep into my body so I could enforce bedtime.
I had tried getting them to go get ready for bed on their own. But why would they do that? I mean, really, if bedtime is not enforced, kids would stay up until they crashed into a sticky heap of dreams, dirt, and slobber.
Bedtime was an ordeal.
Had it been any other night I would have been in heaven. Relatively speaking, they went to bed without a hitch.
And I nearly collapsed with relief.
Collapsed with my secret emergency stash of sugar (a chocolate orange left over from Christmas) and Doctor Who because Doctor Who seems to make everything better somehow.
I am so tired tonight.
It is my own fault, though.
I stayed up so late last night. So very very late.
I tend to do that when I am depressed.
We officially cannot buy my dream house. Jeffrey told me that last night. Subsequently I stayed up until well after midnight just because I always do that when I am not happy. Like staying up will somehow make things better.
|This is the house. Isn't it a beauty?!|
I understand why we cannot buy the house. The price they are asking is not worth the land. There is a land dispute. The next door neighbor (who lives more than an acre away) wants all the land. Including the garage which is 10 feet away from the house. The lot is supposed to have 0.55 acres. Also, that beautiful house is completely falling down. Our friend who is our Realtor said that the bank should pay us to demolish it. It is in really bad shape. And it is in the country...
This is me going on and on again about how much I want to live there.
In the country.
Thus not wanting to sleep.
And being so tired. So very tired.
Hence the chocolate orange and The Doctor.
But I think I have earned it. This day has been nothing but go go go.
Breakfast, gym, lunch, clean clean clean, soccer game, dinner, clean, bedtime, collapse.
A fun, full day that I am so glad is over.
But gosh, it does feel great to have accomplished so much. And I do believe I will sleep well tonight.
Good heavens I love being a Wife and Mother.
Gracious, it is the most tiring and exhausting thing I have ever done in my life.
And I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Because as tired as I am, at the end of the day this is all that matters. Whether I get to live in the country in a beautiful farm house or squished into a basement room, I am still and always will be a Wife and a Mother.
Life is good.
Especially when I can end a hard day with mind and body numbing chocolate and the Doctor.