Tuesday, January 10, 2012

My Gradual Rise To Join Modern Life

2011 was a big year of moving up in the world.  In the beginning we got a cordless phone.  I did a happy dance when I could walk through the house with the phone.  No more being tethered to the wall or one spot.  The rooms without the phone were suddenly getting cleaner.  Loveliness.

Eventually we got cell phones.  Not only were other rooms in the house cleaner now, but things were no longer forgotten at the grocery store.  Guess what, I could talk to Jeffrey while he was at there and remind him to get the things I had forgotten to tell him about.

Who knew life could be so convenient?  It was glorious.

 And then.  


Things just got better. Friday night when Jeffrey and I went to the DI and I was distraught about not getting to buy the beautiful grand piano, Jeffrey did his best to distract me.

He took me by the hand, and pulled me across the street and into an electronics shop.  I sighed. His haven. Electronics is his cure all.  Naturally he would think to go there when upset.  To humor him and to not act completely ungrateful I went in.

And then do you know what he did?  He changed my phone plan, and suddenly I can text!  Something I never thought I would do.  I can now go online and do all kinds of things.  Who knew I can check my recipe blog while at the store? Or I can find an address without searching for a gas station, pulling over, casing the joint for suspicious people, locking the doors with my kids inside, running inside, keeping an eye on the door while I ask for directions or a phone book, getting the info half distractedly while watching the car and worrying about all those news stories I have heard of cars being stolen with children in them, rushing back to the car to find Faye screaming and Keith doing his best to convince her I would be right back, realizing I can only remember half the directions, and having to do that all over again.  And again.  And again.  Third time is the charm, right?  But now, I am intoxicated!  Glorious ease, how did we get along without you?  Oh yeah, with lots of worry that someone will steal my kids/car and stress because I forgot the directions

Back to the store, though.

After agonizing over which phone to get, Jeffrey and I decided on the HTC Radar.
My brother also had an HTC which he hated.  It had no memory.  The windows phone just didn't work out for him.

But the sales person was really good at his job.  He talked us into getting the HTC.  It took amazing pictures, had tons of memory and had the best rebate.  :)  Rebates are important, yo.

Guess what.

It didn't work.

I think HTC and my family are repelling opposites.  Repelling like magnets, not like mountain climbing.  One is fun, the other not so much.  We are the not so much ones.

My phone was faulty, a little insulting, and very naughty.  After many arguments, we broke up.  24 hours were too much, so I took my little Radar back to the store a mere 16 hours later.  Heartbreak!  It wasn't the phone, it was me.  Well, actually, it was the phone.  Frankly, I didn't mind so much that we had broken up. The Windows phone had a ridiculous amount of porn on it.  There were shockingly few free apps, and even in the family/children's category there were porn games.  I was shocked and disgusted.  I didn't want to support that, and I especially didn't want my kids to accidentally stumble onto something like that.  Besides, the flash didn't work.  I couldn't listen to any music programs, or watch anything.  It was a bust.  But thankfully for the broken flash, I was able to return it the next day.  There was no restocking fee, and it was so much easier and smoother than I had anticipated.  Thank you broken flash!  That was a tender mercy if I ever saw one.

They took the phone back, after telling me how great it was and how all their wives want the one I was returning (I think they are crazy.  It wouldn't even play Pandora!).  I then walked out with our second pick.  A beautiful little 'droid phone.  Oh happy day.

I think I will name it Uncle Io.

I anticipate a long friendship with lots of laughs, ease and learning from my new little friend.

And no porn.

We are still getting to know each other, but thus far, we get along famously!
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