Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Diamonds Are Forever

Today, I cried. 

The big fat broken hearted tears of disappointment.

Hope had been my secret friend for quite a while now, and today, Hope left me high and dry.  Desolation moved in to take her place.

For a month and a half now, I have been secretly praying and searching for my beautiful wedding ring. 

I absolutely loved that ring, which is huge, because I don't usually love jewelry.  I got tired of it and need to move on to something new.  But my ring, I never tired of, and looking at it made me happy.  It reminded me of the great sacrifices made, and the love that Jeffrey has for me.  Before he even knew he was going to marry me he had been working long hours, saving nearly every penny for the girl he was to marry.  

Saving up for that ring.  

I remember the night we went ring shopping.  It was a cold November evening, a Monday.  We went to a few different stores, but when I saw my ring, I fell instantly in love with it.  It was beautiful and unique.  I wanted a ring that wasn't like every one else's.  One that I would never tire of.  In the third store we entered, I saw it glittering up at us.  All the personality cuts and shimmers were making best friends with my eyes and heart.  It was mine.  I just knew it.

As I wore that ring, through hard days of marriage, it was always a reminder that I was loved so much.  It always helped make peace with my troubled heart.  Diamonds, my ring, our love would last forever, right?


At least for the ring. 

If you have small children you know all too well that nothing lasts forever.

As I was visiting with a friend today, I lamented how I had lost my ring.  I had no idea where it could have gone.  Keith heard me talking and across the room said "it got flushed down the toilet.""

My heart stopped and I prayed he was making it up.  He doesn't lie, but sometimes he makes things up.  I can tell the difference, though, because when he makes things up, he keeps making them up while telling the "account."

Before tonight, I had never understood the phrase "my blood ran cold" but at that moment, I understood all too well.

"Keith, can you tell me that again?"  I asked, not knowing if I really wanted to hear what he had to say.

"I flushed it down the toilet."  he repeated.

Tears sprang to my eyes.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I was playing with it and it wasn't pretty, and I was tired of it." he stated matter of factly.

I told him to get his things we were going home.  A big tantrum followed, but I needed to be home where I could collect my thoughts, and figure out what I was going to do.  Besides, I didn't want my friend to see the huge tears splashing into my lap.

On the way home, I kept questioning Keith, hoping his story would turn into a tale of monsters or ghosts, or ninjas, like most of his stories did. 

It didn't.  It was always the same account, no matter how often or differently phrased I tried.

Evidently one morning, while I was sleeping, for some reason or another, my little boy decided he didn't like me ring and flushed it down the toilet.

I think my day ended right there. 

I put Keith to bed, and cried.

Jeffrey sent me back to Heather's house where I mourned my loss over Five Guys fries and a veggie taquito.

I am not sure how long it will take me to recover.

In the meantime, Jeffrey, again with the sweat of his brow, bought me a replacement ring.  From a kiosk.  It was under $10, and it does the trick right now.  At least I still know my hubby makes sacrifices so I can have a ring, and I love him dearly for it.

While looking for pictures of my ring, I found this poem from Jeffrey.  It says everything.  Ring or no ring, at least we have each other.

Amy Dear

Winter is here
And long ago in a winter freeze we
United to eachother to please
With weakness and strength
We find each other again and again in winter length

The Brut and the Princess
The happy couple
Choosing roasting beasts, think piles of looted beef.
Or fine quisene, fresh elegant and neat.

Could an apple and pear become a delicious applear?
Would this delicious fruit make a pie
One that is pleasing to the hungry eye?

It will indeed if Love prevail.
If fire burns our souls together as we kiss under a veil.
If we sing in the underground mortal life tunnel.
Echoing our happiness through an harmonious funnel.

Even when I feel like goo.
Your sweet voice heals me through and through.

Please understand it
Please don't resend it
I love you dearest, time is come for
You to more often hear it.

Though our house and walls will crumble
It's one tall structure tumble
Though our car will rust
Even our new curtains will crumble
From age and turn to dust.

There will always be the two of US

<3, Jeffrey

P.S. Only for you would I draw a heart.
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