Wednesday, May 4, 2011

How To Feel Important


The best way to feel important is to have children.

Today I was the most important person in the world.  At least to Faye.

I was not to be out of her sight for an instant today.  Everywhere I went, I had an adorable little shadow.  To everything I did, there was a mimic.  I was a Koala Bear Mother.

I had the baby wrapped around my neck, legs tightly encircling my waist, determined to hang on, to be held, and to be a part of every instance of that day.

Though I had a lot to do today, I loved every second of it.  I didn't get much done, but I relished in those little squeezes.  Her insistence to be with me, a part of everything I did, filled my heart with overwhelming love and joy.  To be so deeply loved by someone so precious and so perfect could warm a heart of stone into lava, melting the hardest and most worn or tired soul. 

Everyone needs a little girl like that.  A piece of sun that you can carry on your shoulder.  Pull it out any gray day and watch her magically scatter that gloom away.  Your own personal prism to throw rainbows on your disposition.  She can stop age growing in your bones and breathe life into your every movement.

Though I had a lot to do, I put it all on pause, threw open the windows, and let life stream into this little home.  The sweet breeze and the cling of my little one blew the cobwebs out of my mind.  It gave me a much needed energy and invigoration.  I carried Faye around on my hip.  We washed the dishes together, making a big wet mess.  She splashed water all over us, and giggled at the bubbles.  She sat in the dust pan while I tried to sweep, scattering the dirt pile with her feet and laughing at the mess.

All day long she was my echo.  The few times I needed a bit of privacy, she stood outside the door, banging and impatiently yelling "Mamma!  Mamma!  Mamma!"

As the evening progressed, she grew more tired.  She clung to my waist with her feet and rubbed her little eyes.  Her head would occasionally drop onto my shoulder and rest there for a few moments before lifting it up and pretending to not be tired.

At bedtime, I gave her an extra tight squeeze to thank her for the much needed adoration today, and gently laid her in her bed.

She went down with a sigh and a smile.

An hour and a half later, Keith came running out of their room.

"I have to go pee."

After the potty break turned into half an hour of stalling, I carried Keith back to his bed.

Big mistake.

Faye heard me come in, and was instantly up, reaching for me with a paci in her mouth and a blanket in her hand.  After tucking Keith in bed, I went over and held her.  Her little head again drooped onto my shoulder, fitting perfectly in the crook of my neck.  Her body relaxed and she sighed peacefully.  I felt her chest rising and falling, so softly, so quietly.  I wanted to hang onto that moment but it passed.  I again gently put her in her crib, patted her bum, and left the room.

Wails were instantly heard.

"Mamma!  Mamma!  Mamma!"

This time her little voice was full of anguish.  I couldn't resist.  I went back in and scooped her back into my arms.

We sat on the couch, just rocking and cuddling, and loving.

Our own peace, our own bit of heaven.

Jeffrey saw us snuggling, and decided he wanted a little bit of that action.

So he joined Keith on his bed.  The both of us snuggling with our little kids.  It was wonderful.

I was finally able to put Faye away, and collect Jeffrey, and we decided to snuggle it up.

I love that my Honey will have tea parties with me.  It is so endearing.  He humors my whims.

We ate popcorn, drank herbal tea, and watched The Twilight Zone.

And that, dear Reader, is how the cobwebs were driven away.  That is how winter has finally left my soul and Spring is officially here.  Both inside and out.  And I feel like the most important person in the world.  Queens, Presidents, Movie Stars, they've got nothing compared to me!


Em said...

I had a dream a few days ago that I was in a coma for four months and woke up and Brennan was fifteen. Smelly gross teenager. I was so sad and yearning for his three year old self to come back. Totally has changed the way I see him now. Tender mercy.

Myya said...

I love that you stopped in the moment & relished in all the glory of it. My littlest is always my shadow & lately I've found myself wishing I could have a minute to get a thing or two done. BUt you know what, those moments pass way too quickly & I will miss them sooo much. Tomorrow I will relish a little longer in the neediness & it will make me smile. :)

Noodle said...

While working on our new house Ally snuggles up to me in a babby carrier I made for her... She rides along on my back or belly and just soaks in the warmth and love... She is becoming more snugglely lately... It makes me smile...

Susan Anderson said...

Great post, Amy. I loved the image of Faye throwing a rainbow on your disposition.


Unknown said...

Yay, good for you for getting rid of winter!

I love days where your kids just need you. Even though sometimes I just want them to leave me alone, the days I just "give in" and snuggle and let them help me, are the best days ever! You rock!!

Lourie said...

This is why I love coming to your blog. You remind this grumpy mom to look at things with different eyes.

Francisca and Chris said...

How is the moving going? I really envy the special time you and Jeffery make for each other. Chris and I read this blog entry together and we both thought about how we never make that sort of time.

Rachel and I are very very close. I love my boys and we are close too but it will is different!

Heather said...

Does Sonic sell herbal tea now? :0)

Evelyn @ Hanging by a Silver Lining said...

You are a beautiful writer Amy.

Lisa said...

What a wonderful day! Good for you for just relishing it!