Tuesday, June 8, 2010

What Ails Me

"Slow down, you move to fast."

These words have been coming to my mind a lot lately.  I feel as if I am Jim Nightshade on the Carousel of Age watching as life is spinning faster and faster around me.  My kids are growing up right in front of my eyes.  I feel like I am missing the precious moments with them.  It seemed Keith was a baby for a lot longer than Faye has been.  She is already growing up so fast.  I cannot believe how quickly she is changing and growing.

I have been getting stressed out.  I have been focusing on so many things at once, I haven't had time to really focus on anything.  As such, the rush factor and the stress factor have been prevalent in my mind.

And then during one particularly harrowing day, I had a thought come to mind.

Joy in the Journey.

I realized I am getting too frustrated and stressed over scribbles on the wall and spills under the table.  Dirt in the mouth, and food in the hair.  I am not enjoying it enough.

So I have deliberately been focusing on enjoying every second.

And then another thought came to mind.  "Stop Rushing."

I am not rushing for my little darlings to grow up, but I do rush for the end of the day when they are happily tucked in bed and dreaming their sweet innocent dreams.  Then I can have time to breathe.  Then I can have time to see my husband.  Then I can have time to regroup my strength and thoughts to start it all again the next day.

And then I remember the source of my greatest joy and happiness.  They are the reason I smile and laugh every day.   I am always happy when I go to bed at night, happy because I have them.

And so, I am doing my best to enjoy every second.  Make each moment count, and love it.

I am making myself a sign that says Joy in the Journey.  I am going to hang it up in my room where I can be reminded every morning to take a deep breath and find ways to not stress, but ways to enjoy every little second.
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