Friday, April 2, 2010

Just a Rant

Lots of thoughts going through my head right now.

Why is it when there is a pile of clothes, Keith's eyes light up and he immediately makes a beeline for said pile.  It then becomes something to destroy, or bury himself in, and generally crash through.  It doesn't matter if the clothes have been folded or not, they are there so they must be obliterated to the best of his ability.

I am in a constant state of introspection lately.  I wonder if that is my way of dealing with stress.  Everything around me is constantly changing so I have to change myself to counter it.  I don't really understand it, but at the moment am on a quest for balance.  I deseprately need to balance my life again.  I need to have spiritual time.  I need to have creative time.  I need to have me time.  Those three times seem to get lost in the cleaning time, cooking time, playing with the kids time, disciplining time, Jeffrey time, bed time, potty training time, etc.  Trying to find a way to get it all to fit is becoming increasing difficult.  I keep making plans to go to bed early.  But for some reason, no matter how tired I have been all day, the second my head hits the pillow, my eyes fly open, and it becomes time to detox.  Time to talk things over with Jeffrey, and talk for a long time.  I should be sleeping, but I feel a need to talk or I can't sleep.  How can I acheive that balance?  I keep looking back to my mission.  Life was so structured and so much easier.  I need to revert to that.  It was my plan to get up at 6:30 and do some much needed exercise today.  I didn't get to sleep because of my detox time and so didn't get up until 8:00.  That means my whole day got thrown back.

For the rest of the day I have cleaning and cooking on the docket.  It is pizza friday, after all.  Something we always look forward to.  I love having simple little traditions like that.  A way to celebrate when there isn't really anything to celebrate... except there is!  This weekend we have both Easter and General Conference!  So excited for both of those.  I love being able to listen to the words of the Prophet and all the Church leaders.  I love learning from the Spirit exactly what it is the Lord needs me to do.

We are going to celebrate Easter on Saturday.  The whole egg hunt and easter basket thing so we aren't distracted from the real meaning on Sunday.  I prefer to do things that way, to keep the true meaning in view.  I think far too often commercialism comes barging in and takes out all spiritual and significant meaning.  So we counter attack by celebrating a day early, and then everyone is happy.

Fess Up Friday
I lost another pound and a half!  I know it isn't anything huge, but for me it is fabulous!  I am thrilled by the consistent weight loss.  Last week Jeffrey and I went out to buy some clothes.  I decided on one pair of pants and one shirt.  I could have gotten more, but decided I would use the money we would have spent on clothes on healthy foods.  I love to have green smoothies, but buying that many frozen fruits can get pricey.  So, because I sacrificed the clothes, I get the fruit, which will help me in the long run anyway.  And look, it is working!  I also saw a show on BBC America yesterday that helped to re-inspire me.  It is called "You Are What You Eat" and is about a Brittish woman nutritionist who goes into homes of people who are morbidly obese and helps them to change their lives and their diets.  It was very inspiring for me to watch, and I got some good ideas from it.  One of the things she commented on was the sedentry lifestyles most often have heart problems.  She told the people to exercise for twenty minutes before each meal.  I am going to try to do that, since I have a hard time finding time to exercise (see the rant about balance above).  I have great goals, and even greater motivation... if only I could get this darn self control under control... but that is my gopsel study for the week, so hopefully I will find some good inspiration and good tips.
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