Monday, March 1, 2010

To Who it May Concern

A few letters to the dominance in our lives right now...

Dear Villainous Cold,
Can't you just leave us alone?  You arrived last week and have been skulking around, bothering all of us.  You have roughed up my throat, but I can deal with that.  But you really hit below the belt with Keith.  You snuck up with a cough.  Keith rolled with the punches beautifully.  When you saw he could handle the cough, you gave him a nasty infection complete with green gysers shooting out of his nose.  He has turned into the world's biggest grump!  Why?  Because you rob him of oxygen while he sleeps, giving him a sore throat, making his naps so short.  And sleeping late in the mornings?  What a wicked trick to play, having him wake up an hour, two hours earlier than normal.  You have outstayed your welcome, and are now invited to leave.

Your annoyed host,

Dear Sun,

Thank you for coming out and playing today.  I cannot wait until you become a more permanent companion.  Your rays are pulling me out of this horrible winter funk.

Your Biggest Fan,

Dear Future Buyer,

Can you just like my house already?  I think it is darling, and wonderful, and lovely.  What isn't to like?  Why can't you just give us an offer?  Really, we will take whatever the offer is.  Buy our house!


and finally...

Dear Employers,

How is it that no one is seeing how incredibly valuable my husband is?  Really?  Are you all that blind?  He gives his all to every job he has had.  He doesn't ever waste company time, and he is incredibly loyal.  You are missing out on one great asset to your company.  The sooner you see him and his great work ethic and brains, you will wonder where he has been all your life.  You wont know how you got along without him.  His last employer/internship was very sorry to see him go, as you would be too if you were saying goodbye to one of your best employees ever.  So, with that said, remedy your lack of Jeffrey by hiring him already.  The sooner you do it, the happier you will be, I guarantee it.

A grateful wife,

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