Sunday, January 3, 2010

The Start of a New Idiom and My Reign as Queen

I don't usually post on weekends. But this is a special occasion.

Today is the day of my coronation!

Elizabeth at Confessions from a Working Mom decided that she likes me, and so, has decided to pass along her legacy {her name is Elizabeth, therefore she is queen. Get it?} to me! But only for this week. So, I get to bask in the greatness of being royalty for this the first week of the new year.

I really can't say I am all that surprised {in actuality I was... a lot} since my Grandfather is 8th cousins to the Queen of England {Bless him for doing our Family History!}. It is only right that I get to be Queen for a week, right? At least that is what I tell myself. So for all the friends arriving from Elizabeth's blog, come on in, take off your hat, have some tea and crumpets and lets have a good old English chat.

On to my regular thoughts and musings.

I was saving this for Monday, but today is as good as any to put egg on my face, so here goes.

I love using idioms. I love learning of their origin and how common they are, and when people use good idioms, I just feel like they are more well rounded. I love hearing people say things like "He has egg on his face" or "She has banana in her hair."

Wait, banana in her hair isn't an idiom? Well, it should be.

Starting now.

As we all know, "egg on one's face" means someone did something to make themselves appear foolish or embarrassed.

Something you may not know about me is I am the walking definition of that idiom. I do so many silly things on accident. And so, to make myself feel better, I make awkward situations more awkward. And then I laugh because if I am laughing no one will know how silly I feel. Possibly these are just excuses I have made up to hide from the truth; I am just an awkward person who doesn't think things through all the way.

Like the other day when I wanted to take a shower {there are far too many shower stories on this blog, aren't there?} and realized we were out of conditioner.

Big deal you say?

Not when you have curly hair. Without conditioner I would have one giant mass of snarls that Madeusa would envy.

So I went online to find a homemade conditioner. I found one made of honey and mashed banana. Great nourishment for the hair! Makes it super shiny. Or so they said. I don't think the majority of make at home hair treatments are intended for curly hair. I think it is discrimination by all the straight hair people. Or it could be I am just trying to blame my own stupidity on someone else. At any rate, I decided to try it.

I learned a valuable lesson. Banana fibers love curly hair. They decided to take up residence and stay in mine. No matter what I did, they would not be evicted. I started to worry about little bugs moving into the banana and honey crystallized castles. I imagined summertime and how the fly swatter would become my constant companion. The bees would all be after me. After a small panic/pity party I figured out the solution. The only way I could get the banana out of my hair would be with the use of conditioner. Go figure. If I had some in the first place I never would have gotten into that mess. *Sigh* Since I didn't want to wait 6 hours for Jeffrey to get home from work, nor did I want to go the whole day with a towel on my head and smelling like banana bread I gave in to the only other option available. It was time to swallow my pride and call a neighbor to borrow some conditioner.

Have you ever tried to borrow conditioner from a neighbor? Not the same as a cup of sugar, is it? About that time Faye decided to wake up. So not only did I have wet and crusty banana honey hair, I also had a crying baby that just wanted to be held. Things just got complicated.

I called my 14 year old neighbor who comes over often to visit and hold Faye and asked her if she would like to play with my baby. But I told her I was going to charge her. She needed to bring me some conditioner if she had some, and I would pay her back for it {can we say awkward? Why yes it was.}. I felt like I was asking her to bring me a contraband item. And she is great. She was over ten minutes later with some delightful smelling conditioner, and arms open and ready to cuddle Faye. Great exchange, I thought.

After ten minutes of washing and rinsing and washing and rinsing over the sink I was finally able to get it out. Whew!

The recipe said to repeat twice a week for best results. I think I will stick with my dull lifeless hair if that is the price I have to pay.

Now, whenever someone does something silly I instantly laugh and tell them they have banana in their hair, rather than the age old egg on their face. At least I would if someone would do something sillier than me. *Sigh* But for now, I will be the one smelling like banana bread.


This Mama Works It! said...

Congrats on being queen of the week. I am stopping by from Amy's blog. That is brave to put banana and honey in your hair. I have poker strait hair and I am sure it would take forever to get the honey out. I can't even get it off my hands when I get some on. Great blog! Tammy

Confessions From A Working Mom said...

HAHAHAHAHA! I can't believe you did that... any of that! I used to wash my hair every Sunday morning in college with the leftover beer from the night before... but this definitely takes the cake!



Gina said...

Hi there! Stopping by from Amy's blog. I loved this post...I actually teach my students about idioms quite often (I'm a language therapist) so this made me giggle. Glad your hair turned out okay! I'd LOVE to have your curls!

Kori said...

I came over from Elizabeth's blog to tell you a heartfelt congratulations on being Queen. The banana-honey thing made me laugh, because it sounds like something I would do, if I could actually get it on my hair without, you know, eating it!

mub said...

I'm just loving the thought of honey crystal castles!

Idioms are funny things... there are some great Dutch ones that become really awkward when you translate them literally!

Emmy said...

Lol! That is an awesome story! And congrats on being queen! How exciting for you.

Good thing you have good neighbors.

3LittleMonkeys said...

Hi! Stopping by from Elizabeth's blog. Congrats on your award! I look forward to reading more of your blog! It's very entertaining!

Sue said...

This post is hilarious and quite worthy of a blog queen.

Long may you reign!


Angela said...

Hi! I came over from Elizabeth's blog to tell you congradulations on being a Queen! Loved your honey, banana story, lol, because it is so something I could see happening to me! I once tried an egg and mayo combination for shiny hair, oh my goodness, I may have had shiny hair, however, the smell (which lasted for days!!!) was awful....never again, lol :)
Have a great week,

Angelia said...

OMG! Funny! Great negotiation with the neighbor teen girl.
Congrats on your reign I LOVE your crown with the pink jewel.
I heard mayonnaise works if you want to try that next time. Lol.

Missy said...

Congrats on your coronation!!! Cute banana story!!

Lara said...

Thank heavens for teenage neighbors who love to cuddle babies!

If I were your neighbor I would have brought some right over! Funny, funny story. :)

Lisa @ This Mommy Works said...

Congratulations on being Queen this week! What an honor. So glad you got the banana out!

Lisa @ This Mommy Works said...

Congratulations on being Queen this week! What an honor. So glad you got the banana out!

The (Un)Experienced Mom said...

Congrats on being Queen for the week! How cool is it that you are related to the Queen? So what if it is a distant relation, it still counts. I am married to a Brit, but no relation. I still pretend that I will someday run into Prince Harry or William at the local Tescos grocery store.

And no conditioner....I totally understand. Bad things happen when I run out of conditioner!


Sarah Beth said...

Stopping by from Amy's blog - congrats on your reign! Looking forward to following you. :)