Sunday, January 3, 2010

The Start of a New Idiom and My Reign as Queen

I don't usually post on weekends. But this is a special occasion.

Today is the day of my coronation!

Elizabeth at Confessions from a Working Mom decided that she likes me, and so, has decided to pass along her legacy {her name is Elizabeth, therefore she is queen. Get it?} to me! But only for this week. So, I get to bask in the greatness of being royalty for this the first week of the new year.

I really can't say I am all that surprised {in actuality I was... a lot} since my Grandfather is 8th cousins to the Queen of England {Bless him for doing our Family History!}. It is only right that I get to be Queen for a week, right? At least that is what I tell myself. So for all the friends arriving from Elizabeth's blog, come on in, take off your hat, have some tea and crumpets and lets have a good old English chat.

On to my regular thoughts and musings.

I was saving this for Monday, but today is as good as any to put egg on my face, so here goes.

I love using idioms. I love learning of their origin and how common they are, and when people use good idioms, I just feel like they are more well rounded. I love hearing people say things like "He has egg on his face" or "She has banana in her hair."

Wait, banana in her hair isn't an idiom? Well, it should be.

Starting now.

As we all know, "egg on one's face" means someone did something to make themselves appear foolish or embarrassed.

Something you may not know about me is I am the walking definition of that idiom. I do so many silly things on accident. And so, to make myself feel better, I make awkward situations more awkward. And then I laugh because if I am laughing no one will know how silly I feel. Possibly these are just excuses I have made up to hide from the truth; I am just an awkward person who doesn't think things through all the way.

Like the other day when I wanted to take a shower {there are far too many shower stories on this blog, aren't there?} and realized we were out of conditioner.

Big deal you say?

Not when you have curly hair. Without conditioner I would have one giant mass of snarls that Madeusa would envy.

So I went online to find a homemade conditioner. I found one made of honey and mashed banana. Great nourishment for the hair! Makes it super shiny. Or so they said. I don't think the majority of make at home hair treatments are intended for curly hair. I think it is discrimination by all the straight hair people. Or it could be I am just trying to blame my own stupidity on someone else. At any rate, I decided to try it.

I learned a valuable lesson. Banana fibers love curly hair. They decided to take up residence and stay in mine. No matter what I did, they would not be evicted. I started to worry about little bugs moving into the banana and honey crystallized castles. I imagined summertime and how the fly swatter would become my constant companion. The bees would all be after me. After a small panic/pity party I figured out the solution. The only way I could get the banana out of my hair would be with the use of conditioner. Go figure. If I had some in the first place I never would have gotten into that mess. *Sigh* Since I didn't want to wait 6 hours for Jeffrey to get home from work, nor did I want to go the whole day with a towel on my head and smelling like banana bread I gave in to the only other option available. It was time to swallow my pride and call a neighbor to borrow some conditioner.

Have you ever tried to borrow conditioner from a neighbor? Not the same as a cup of sugar, is it? About that time Faye decided to wake up. So not only did I have wet and crusty banana honey hair, I also had a crying baby that just wanted to be held. Things just got complicated.

I called my 14 year old neighbor who comes over often to visit and hold Faye and asked her if she would like to play with my baby. But I told her I was going to charge her. She needed to bring me some conditioner if she had some, and I would pay her back for it {can we say awkward? Why yes it was.}. I felt like I was asking her to bring me a contraband item. And she is great. She was over ten minutes later with some delightful smelling conditioner, and arms open and ready to cuddle Faye. Great exchange, I thought.

After ten minutes of washing and rinsing and washing and rinsing over the sink I was finally able to get it out. Whew!

The recipe said to repeat twice a week for best results. I think I will stick with my dull lifeless hair if that is the price I have to pay.

Now, whenever someone does something silly I instantly laugh and tell them they have banana in their hair, rather than the age old egg on their face. At least I would if someone would do something sillier than me. *Sigh* But for now, I will be the one smelling like banana bread.
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