Ode to My Mother
I just have to tell you how great you are. You basically taught me everything I know. I still have never come across a better bargain shopper than you. You can talk any cashier down from any price! Amazing. I know I am a little late, but I have to thank you for all you have ever done for me. You are amazing! Thank you for doing my laundry for me for all those years, and for teaching me important things like "no matter how much you like mushrooms, don't eat the ones that grow in your yard." and "Always wear clean underwear. If you get in a car accident and have to go to the ER at least you will have clean undies." These words of wisdom have catapulted me through life, and have always helped me in times of need. To this day I have never been seen in the ER with dirty undies! I am so glad you are my mother, and on this, your 30th birthday, I want to tell you how much I love you, and appreciate all you have done for me. Thanks so much for teaching me the value of hard work and dedication. I know that more than half of your celestial hairs are from me. Happy birthday my dear mother!