Wednesday, November 22, 2017

A Not-So Quiet Afternoon


The boys got their immunizations yesterday. Vince is fine. Like water off a duck’s back. Kip, however has developed a bit of a fever and really would prefer to be snuggled and loved on all day. He let’s me know of his disapproval when I put him in his bed. As such, it is noon and I am still in my pajamas and in my room.

Instead of baking pies, rolls, and jello for the feast tomorrow.

Beth was having a horrible moment. She was screaming and slamming my bedroom door. Not once, mind you. Not twice, either. She stood screaming in my doorway, opening and slamming the door as hard as she could 8-9 times. I couldn’t do much about it because I was feeding the baby. I did finally manage to get her to go to time out...


in my shower.

I couldn’t think of anywhere else to put the banshee. So she stood and screamed at me from the bathtub, eyes shooting daggers, lungs exploding with four year old expletives such as; “I hate you! You are the worst mom ever! When I grow up I will never visit you! I am never talking to you again!!!” and I calmly ignored her and continued to feed the baby.

And then I heard a mournful wail coming from the living room.

Let’s recap here.

Beth is screaming at me from the bathtub. Kip is super fussy and not eating well because his nose is stuffed up and he has a slight fever. Which tranalates to a crying baby.

And then Vince came pitter pattering down the hall, wailing like an 80’s glam rock guitar, with Keith and Faye close on his heels. Guilty looks painted across their feigned cherubic faces, full of counterfeit ignorance.

Somehow, and they still haven’t disclosed the details, Keith got Faye’s fart putty all over in Vince’s hair.


I am so proud of myself for not losing it and screaming at them. I did scream into the air in general, but that can be considered a battle cry, right?

Right?!

So I had a screaming Beth, sobbing Kip, and realy irritated, angry, and confused Vince, all being extremely vociferous, while Keith’s face is suddenly guilt stricken and Faye is looking smug.

I did what any mom in that situation would do.

I ordered pizza.

Not as a reward, mind you, but as a survival mechanism. I knew there would be no way I would be able to get lunch made at the rate things were going. And as soon as tummies were filled, I could send kids to bed. And possibly get dressed! Maybe even tackle the pies, rolls, and jello i need to make before tomorrow.

And I laughed. After sending pictures to Adrienne, of course. I knew she would appreciate the chaos I was living.

And so, with Kid’s Netflix, butter, a fine tooth comb, and lots of patience, I managed to get Vinny’s hair clean. Er, clean from putty.


He now smells delicious! Very buttery and reminiscent of rolls.


It looks like baths are in the cards for the kids again today.

My day was too quiet, anyway.

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