But as the days go by, and my nights continue to be sleepless, I become more sensitive to the loss.
As a result, my children were sent to bed at 5:30 today. As soon as they had finished their supper. Or finished playing with it, picking it apart, and pushing it around on their plates.
They didn't go to sleep or settle down until 7:30, but for their sanity and my own, they were sent to bed.
If found, please return to me ASAP. The happiness of all in this home will be greatly impacted.
After I published this post, I decided to check on the kids and maybe have a cocoa party with them as my version of a peace pipe. I went to their room and pushed on the door. It opened a crack, but that was all. I pushed harder and found it was blocked by a desk. Their floor, which I had recently helped them clean, was unidentifiable and dangerous to walk across. As I gingerly picked my way across piles of rubble, clothes, books and toys, I was terrified I would step on a Lego mine which rather than explode would painfully embed itself in my heel and cause me to go down. A casualty of the Messy Bedroom War.
I got to the bunkbeds and the blankets were all mushed up. I pulled Keith's back to give him a kiss, and found it empty.
Same for Faye's.
And then, frustration and anger bubbled over to fill the void patience left when it left.
The fastest way to make me mad is to ignore me.
I went upstairs and found them lounging on their grandparent's bed, which they were occupying, thus forcing the previous owners out and to different locations of the house. My father in law was actually sleeping on the couch because the kids were sprawling on his bed.
And so, I lost it a bit.
In my strictest but not quite yelling voice, I ordered them downstairs "Right NOW!"
We got to their room, and guess what I did.
I informed them we were going to clean if they weren't tired.
Guess who suddenly got incredibly sleepy?
Guess who cried for 10 minutes?
Faye helped clean. She had learned yesterday that there is no sense in crying. Especially when I am that angry. I had no sympathy, and even reveled in their misery a little bit. Not that I was happy that they were crying, but I was happy that justice was being served.
I told Keith I was setting my timer for 10 minutes and that is when I would start helping. He started to clean faster after that.
The kids know that when I help, everything I pick up, they wont see again for a long time, if ever.
It was lovely to see that they can clean their room quickly and with relatively little help.
I am sort of loving when they don't go to bed now, because we get a lot of cleaning done late in the evenings.
Tomorrow night we can deep clean the bathroom.