Friday, June 1, 2012

Fired!

Dearest May,

I regret to inform you that this letter will serve as formal notification under the Federal Worker Adjustment and Retaining Act that we are moving in different directions and things just aren't working out between the two of us.

You are being downsized.

We have decided to go with the younger and hipper version of you; June.

June is just what everyone wants right now.  With the promise of Summer, hot days, sticky Popsicles and night breezes your moodiness is just not favorable.  Sunny one day, snowy and rainy the next.  That is so March! 

Please don't harbor any hard feelings.  I am sure your services will be needed at a much further date from now. In the meantime, please go sit with January, February, March and April.  A party will be held to honor you (along with every other month) at the end of the year.  Thank you for your contributions.  

I must say, before you part, that you were magnificent!  Really and truly.  And possibly the most chaotic and cluttered month I have experienced in a long time!  What with the bridal shower that took up all my time and forgot to take pictures for.  And the drama therein.  

Then there was Jeffrey's birthday.

And finally, the family reunion/wedding.

You certainly threw a doozy at me.

The shower was beautiful, but not nearly as beautiful as the bride to be.  But we both know that it is nearly impossible to outshine her. 


Jeffrey's birthday was somewhat anticlimactic after the big shower, but let's be honest here.  Boys don't like doilies or pearls or any of the frosting that goes on a girl party.  They like meat.  And beans.  And manly stuff.  Like a Zelda cake.  Or more specifically a Zol from The Legend of Zelda.  You know, the NES version?  The very first Zelda to come out in 1986?  Yeah, that one.   


And they like them to be made from scratch Carrot Cake.  My very first one!  And it did turn out delish as the empty platter indicated.  Faye enjoyed it too.  As it was sitting on the table, waiting for the manly men to arrive, I found Faye sitting at a chair, black frosting all over her face and hand.  "But Mommy!  I was just tasting a little bit!  Just a little bit!"  I looked and saw little finger prints on the tops of all the cupcakes.  It was very hard to not laugh as I scooted her out of the room to clean up from her joy tasting.  Funny thing about cake, though; neither Jeffrey nor I like cake.   

So I made him a blueberry pie.  With a lattice top.  Another first for me! 


 That one disappeared much faster than the cake. And yes, little Faye did help with this one as well, though not with fingers in the pie, but large pieces on her plate and in her belly.  

Of course, other manly men came to eat meat and pie and The Legend of Zelda monster cake.  And sci-fi games were played.  I totally rocked that one.  Mainly because it was a game of complete chance and no strategy.  Jeffrey said he isn't fond of the game, but I suspect it is because he is out of his element with luck games and Luck is a lady.  We Ladies like to stick together.  He doesn't want to be beaten all around the game again and again like he was on his birthday.  Because being beaten in a sci-fi game by a girl just isn't manly or other such rot as that.  Silly boy.

The very next morning I had to get up and start packing.  For the first time in several years all my siblings were going to be together.  Or so I though.  My sister who moved to AL that weekend and is looking for a house and couldn't join us.  I can't figure out why.  I mean, her family can always hole up in a box until she gets back and then start their house hunt in earnest.  Sigh.  

But after a loooooooooooooong drive, (we left the house here around 12:30 and due to a few stops on the way and getting lost arrived around 7:30), we made it safely to a cabin in depths of Targhee National Forest.  Gorgeous!  I just wish I could have not driven and been able to see the scenery.


And there, my dear May, is where you turned all moody and sullen on us.  Snow, the whole drive up there!  Snow, the whole time we were there!  You didn't allow the sun to peek her sweet warming face from behind the blanket of clouds until we were driving away.  Insolence!  I understand and welcome rain from you.  You are just ensuring the flowers and gardens grow.  But snow?! The nerve!  Our trip to Yellowstone was cold, wet, and unpredictable and will be attached to your file at a later date.

And so, because of all the aforementioned chaos and drama, you are being let go.  Maybe this will teach you to be kinder to those who have to live with you.  Now go sit with the other months and think about how you can improve next year.  Calmly and lazily.  With no drama.

Sincerely,

The Seasons Management Team.
Amy HR Manager

5 comments:

Sue said...

Cute post, Amy!

And that blueberry pie looks yummy!!

=)

Jenny said...

You scared me!

Shwewwww...I'm glad everything is okay!

What a cute post!

Lourie said...

Ah yes, out with you May! Very cute post indeed Amy! I love your creativity.

Trish said...

Love how you always blog about the seasons! I wish we had 4 seasons here! We only have two though. So I realized some time ago that you're a type 4! I should have seen it before...whoops! Not that you follow that, but well if you did that is my insight. It sure explains the whole red lipstick thing.

Em said...

hilarious letter! very creative:) that pie top is IMPRESSIVE. good job!