Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Why My Children Will Need Therapy

Ice cream.

Butter.

Cheese.

Yogurt.

These are all some of Faye's favorite foods.  Her absolute favorites.

Especially the butter.  She would eat a whole pound of it if anyone let her.

Which is why life is unfair.

Unfair because that cute little curly girl has an allergy.

No, I haven't gone to the doctor.  No, I don't know if it is a dairy allergy or if she is lactose intolerant.  I haven't taken her in to the doctor yet.  Soon, I hope.

We mainly drink Almond milk.  For several different reasons, one being the fact I hate the taste of cow's milk.  We have been drinking strictly almond milk for about 18 months.  The kids love it, I love it, and even the pediatrician loves that I give it to the kids.  About a month ago, we ran out of almond milk.  So my Father in law gave the kids cow's milk.  And for those three days, Faye had disgusting explosive diapers.  I eventually got the almond milk back, and her diapers went back to normal.  Well, normal for her.  I have noticed when she does have dairy (pizza, ice cream, toast with butter, etc) her diapers are ridiculous again.  Sigh.

So, now dairy is not really allowed in our diets.  Because it is her favorite food ever.  If she sees anyone else eating any, the poor dear goes into a fit of jealousy.  She just wants some.

But that is only half the problem.

She still has gross diapers (I know, TMI.  Deal with it).  I am not sure what it is that is causing it.  People keep speculating it is gluten, but that just makes me laugh.  If Faye did have Celiacs, Jeffrey I think would die.  He cannot survive without wheat.  Whatever it is, I hope we can figure it out soon.  I really am tired of all those poopy diapers.

If that were all the news, I would say I was a very happy Mommy.  Keith, however has been giving me fits of trouble.  Any advice would be welcome.

The boy is so sweet.
  
And then the second something happens that he doesn't like, he is someone I don't know.  I would call it passive aggressive, but it isn't so much passive.  The other day he was using the bathroom.  He yelled for me to come and wipe his bum.  I told him he could do it.  And then he began to throw a fit.  I told him he needed to at least try, and I would help him after that, but the fit had gone above and beyond.  He screamed.  He yelled.  And then the defiance.

"I am never going to wipe my bum ever again!"  He howled.  "I am not going to wipe my bum.  I am going to eat the toilet paper."  And he commenced eating toilet paper.  I told him that was fine.  If he wanted to eat it he could, but it would hurt his stomach and that wouldn't make him very happy.  He continued to eat it.  After about five minutes he had a big wad in his mouth, and spit it out.  He began hitting himself, biting his leg, biting on the edge of his pants.  His face was red, his eyes wide and tears streamed down his face as he gasped for air in his fit of rage.  I continued to ignore him and clean the bathroom.  After a good fifteen minutes of him throwing fits and me ignoring him, he calmed down, wiped his bum, and was back to normal again.  As if nothing had happened.

Fits like this have become the norm.  Bedtime is mentioned and he freaks out again.  He says "Fine.  Then I will go to bed and stay in there for five days.  I wont get out at all.  Not for five days."  I tell him if that is what his body needs, then that is fine.  I try to comfort him.  I try to change the subject.  He just kicks and screams that he doesn't want to go to bed.  I really don't know what to do.  Does ignoring him really work? Will it help him in the long run, or make him feel resentful and unloved?  Should I continue with trying to comfort him but ignore the behavior?

I will be taking some Love and Logic classes come January and I am really hoping they will help.  I am also expecting a few books to come in the mail tomorrow. The Parenting Breakthrough by Merrilee Browne Boyack and The Entitlement Trap by Richard and Linda Eyre.  Though I am not sure either address my problem with Keith, at least they will help me in other areas and down the road.

Sigh.
 
This parenting thing is rough.  I can only hope I don't mess my kids up too much.

10 comments:

Cherie said...

I would definately say the dairy is giving her the bad diapers.
It is very very common for children to have a reaction to dairy, even when they are not allergic to it, so I would say if she is not used to cow's milk at all then it was probably a jolt to her system.
I've been through the whole milk allergy thing with myself and my kids. None of us has been diagnosed as lactose intolerant when we take the test but we have all learned the amount of diary our bodies will handle before they...ahem...explode.

Good luck and don't worry!

As for your darling son. He is definately exerting his independence and seeing how far he can push mom.
Boundaries and follow through consistently work wonders. I always counted to 10 for my kids and they knew if I ever got to 10 they would be in serious trouble - It is so funny because even now that they are older it still works - 1 to 10 means mom is totally serious!!

Being a mom is a tough job!!

Cherie said...

P.S. I hear that the Love and Logic class is excellent.

Familia Morales said...

Yep, being a mom is tough. I feel for ya.

*Jess* said...

My daughter didn't drink cow's milk until she was 3, and then she drank a pint of it! She had diarrhea for 11 days straight. It was awful. Now at age 9, she can handle small amounts of cow's milk.

Terra said...

I absolutely love the book raising your spirited child. you might check it out.

Trish said...

Okay, solutions... Dairy allergies are from pasteurized milk products. (Thank you Louis Pasteur...NOT!) Raw milk from cows on pasture actually don't cause the same reactions. I was severally lactose intolerant and reactive to anything dairy and then I happened onto Weston A Price thanks to some friends here, and now we drink milk again but only from local farms whose cows eat grass and are on pasture (not grain and in confinement). I have learned a lot since we started doing this style of eating (its called Traditional Eating)...we decided to do it on Thanksgiving after watching an amazing dvd called "Nourishing our Children".

I also recommend checking out Carol Tuttle's better parenting show on blogtalkradio.com. She does it on Tuesdays and started doing parenting topics a few months ago. Her show is different than others because she doesn't say "this is the one type of parenting approach that is always right, all the time" like everyone else does. Instead she says, "know your child and parent them accordingly". People who have children of a totally different energy type than themselves can really struggle if they don't understand what to expect from their child and why they are acting out. Anyway, sorry for the novel but hope it helps you!
Love Trish

Chantel said...

We're dealing with the same thing here with Licy. Must be the terrible 4's!!! And to think, we were worried about the teenage years. I hope she makes it that far without driving Brian crazy.

Jenny said...

You are NOT messing up your children. The fact that you think you are messing up your children makes me realize you totally aren't!

Hope your holidays continue to be Merry and Bright!

Happy New Year!

Lisa said...

Umm, I think it's the age. Sara is doing the same thing as Keith. She screams, she hits, she throws things, she's even beaten on Garrett. The funniest part (I know, I know, this shouldn't be funny) is that Garrett has already figured out that bedtime is a good time to taunt her. He will go to the door of her room, wait for her to see him, then growl at her. He never gets closer, so she can't touch him (she knows she's in big trouble if she gets out of bed!), but she will sure scream and holler and shriek and screech at him until I move him out of her sight. It's quite comical.
As for the whole milk thing - we are dealing with a similar issue with Garrett. Only it was the change from nursing to cow's milk that caused problems.
OK - I'm done with this hugely long comment. Call me sometime. :)

Sue said...

Sounds like you handled the "bum-wiping" incident perfectly.

As for the BMs, have you tried feeding her rice and bananas for awhile to see if you can clear it up? Sometimes they just get a little bug that doesn't ever quite work itself out until you plug things up a bit.

=)