Tuesday, December 27, 2011

The Other Side of Christmas

I remember being a child.  Probably around ten years old.  I could not wait for Christmas to come.  I remember the excitement that kept me awake every night for weeks leading up to that wonderful day.

This year, I had that same excitement, but for very different reasons.  I could not wait for Christmas to come so it could be over with.  The sleepless nights due to stress caused by the mountain of gifts I needed to make.  I just wanted it to be over with.  I wanted to be able to sit back and enjoy the season with my family.  But yet again, the stress stepped in and took over.  Such a rude visitor.  It keeps me up all night, makes my house a mess, and turns me into a grump.

To combat, I tried listening to Christmas music.  But quite honestly, this year the Christmas music did not make me happy.  Every time I turned on the radio, I became very distracted and annoyed.  I didn't want to hear about Rudolph, or shoes or any of that other rubbish.  I wanted to hear about that special night so long ago.  I wanted to be uplifted because the birth of the Savior was the most important birth to have ever happened.  That ever will happen.  I wanted to focus on the beauty and simplicity of it all.  All the fringe just irked me that much more.

One day, a few weeks before Christmas I headed out to pick up supplies for gifts.  It was snowing, and lovely. While driving, I encountered several red lights.  I tried to break, but unfortunately the breaks had gone out.  I mean, I slid, even though I was tapping the breaks.  It was quite terrifying.  I was eventually able to slow down, and gingerly tried the breaks again.  If I was gentle, they would stop me.  But only if I was going 5 mph.  Sigh.  I tell you, the kids and I prayed loud and long the rest of that car ride.  I turned in to the first car repair place I could find.  Not a fun day.  But, we were safe.  That is what mattered, right?

Now that Christmas is over, I sit, deliberating over all my spare time.  I could be taking down the decor.  I could be picking up a few of the big projects that were placed on the back burner.  Instead, I relish in the nothingness that is required of me.  Glory be I can breathe again!

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