Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Diamonds Are Forever


Today, I cried. 

The big fat broken hearted tears of disappointment.

Hope had been my secret friend for quite a while now, and today, Hope left me high and dry.  Desolation moved in to take her place.

For a month and a half now, I have been secretly praying and searching for my beautiful wedding ring. 

I absolutely loved that ring, which is huge, because I don't usually love jewelry.  I got tired of it and need to move on to something new.  But my ring, I never tired of, and looking at it made me happy.  It reminded me of the great sacrifices made, and the love that Jeffrey has for me.  Before he even knew he was going to marry me he had been working long hours, saving nearly every penny for the girl he was to marry.  

Saving up for that ring.  

I remember the night we went ring shopping.  It was a cold November evening, a Monday.  We went to a few different stores, but when I saw my ring, I fell instantly in love with it.  It was beautiful and unique.  I wanted a ring that wasn't like every one else's.  One that I would never tire of.  In the third store we entered, I saw it glittering up at us.  All the personality cuts and shimmers were making best friends with my eyes and heart.  It was mine.  I just knew it.

As I wore that ring, through hard days of marriage, it was always a reminder that I was loved so much.  It always helped make peace with my troubled heart.  Diamonds, my ring, our love would last forever, right?

Wrong.

At least for the ring. 

If you have small children you know all too well that nothing lasts forever.

As I was visiting with a friend today, I lamented how I had lost my ring.  I had no idea where it could have gone.  Keith heard me talking and across the room said "it got flushed down the toilet.""

My heart stopped and I prayed he was making it up.  He doesn't lie, but sometimes he makes things up.  I can tell the difference, though, because when he makes things up, he keeps making them up while telling the "account."

Before tonight, I had never understood the phrase "my blood ran cold" but at that moment, I understood all too well.

"Keith, can you tell me that again?"  I asked, not knowing if I really wanted to hear what he had to say.

"I flushed it down the toilet."  he repeated.

Tears sprang to my eyes.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I was playing with it and it wasn't pretty, and I was tired of it." he stated matter of factly.

I told him to get his things we were going home.  A big tantrum followed, but I needed to be home where I could collect my thoughts, and figure out what I was going to do.  Besides, I didn't want my friend to see the huge tears splashing into my lap.

On the way home, I kept questioning Keith, hoping his story would turn into a tale of monsters or ghosts, or ninjas, like most of his stories did. 

It didn't.  It was always the same account, no matter how often or differently phrased I tried.

Evidently one morning, while I was sleeping, for some reason or another, my little boy decided he didn't like me ring and flushed it down the toilet.

I think my day ended right there. 

I put Keith to bed, and cried.

Jeffrey sent me back to Heather's house where I mourned my loss over Five Guys fries and a veggie taquito.

I am not sure how long it will take me to recover.

In the meantime, Jeffrey, again with the sweat of his brow, bought me a replacement ring.  From a kiosk.  It was under $10, and it does the trick right now.  At least I still know my hubby makes sacrifices so I can have a ring, and I love him dearly for it.

While looking for pictures of my ring, I found this poem from Jeffrey.  It says everything.  Ring or no ring, at least we have each other.

Amy Dear

Winter is here
And long ago in a winter freeze we
United to eachother to please
With weakness and strength
We find each other again and again in winter length

The Brut and the Princess
The happy couple
Choosing roasting beasts, think piles of looted beef.
Or fine quisene, fresh elegant and neat.

Could an apple and pear become a delicious applear?
Would this delicious fruit make a pie
One that is pleasing to the hungry eye?

It will indeed if Love prevail.
If fire burns our souls together as we kiss under a veil.
If we sing in the underground mortal life tunnel.
Echoing our happiness through an harmonious funnel.

Even when I feel like goo.
Your sweet voice heals me through and through.

Please understand it
Please don't resend it
I love you dearest, time is come for
You to more often hear it.

Though our house and walls will crumble
It's one tall structure tumble
Though our car will rust
Even our new curtains will crumble
From age and turn to dust.

There will always be the two of US

 
<3, Jeffrey

P.S. Only for you would I draw a heart.

14 comments:

Malinda said...

Amy-First, I love you I'm just terrible at the whole phone thing. Second, oh my freaking heart! I remember that blindingly beautiful ring the night Cannon took pictures of you two. I am so sorry!

Sue said...

Oh, Amy. =(

I am so, so sorry to hear this story about your ring.

I find that it resonates with me at at a surprisingly visceral level. Like all mothers, I know this pain of being hurt by a child's willful or careless or unknowing actions. Your loss and grieving feel familiar because I have experienced them many times over as a result of being a mother. Not with a wedding ring, but with other woundings and disappointments (large and small) that have come my way because of the actions and choices of my children.

It's a good thing that the joy of motherhood far outweighs the pain.

But this is a sad loss, and I am grieving with you.

"/

Chantel said...

I'm so sorry. My nephew flushed my sisters ring as well. I keep mine up high in my closet now just to avoid that disaster. Was it insured?

Jenny said...

Oh Amy. I have no words. Just hugs and prayers for peace from a far away friend who thinks you are amazing.

Trish said...

Wow. Your son is quite an interesting character. This just makes me glad that I already installed toilet locks on our toilets. I keep taking my ring off and now I'm not sure where it went. I'm sure it will turn up at some point. Or I'll see it right where I left it last...

Heather said...

you could have cried at my house- really, i wouldn't have minded. i am sorry. if only rowan could talk, i wonder if he would tell me what happened to my long lost camera! children. gotta love them- even when you want to ship um' off to china! :0) here's hoping you have a happy day!

sarajo said...

OMG, that is terrible! I am so so sorry. My heart aches for you. {{{HUGS}}}

Confessions of a PTO Mom said...

All the while I have been reading your blog, I have thought to myself what a wonderful husband you have. The stories you share are wonderful. Life is always greener, and you never know what happens in other's homes, but I know that there are many, many people who would love to have a husband as you describe in place of a ring.

And I wouldn't be surprised if someday in your future your beloved presents you with another.

Peace,
Amy

Lisa said...

Oh Amy!!! My heart broke with yours as I read your story! You are a wonderful woman to share such deep feelings. Best of luck in dealing with this! Love ya!

Francisca said...

Oh wow, If I could go through your sewers and tear apart your plumbing for you I would. I'm so sorry love!!! That just sucks!!!

But at least you are right, Jeffery will never go anywhere. No matter what he will be there for eternity. I remember when Chris lost his job and we had to walk away from our new home it hurt but I remember thinking at least I have him. Things come and go but an eternal companion will never go anywhere!

Noodle said...

oh my goodness I'm so sorry... I never take my ring off because I'm afraid of what my kids would do to it... I feel naked with out it so I can only imagine... But it is true that the ring is only a simbol of the love you and Jeffery share it is not the thing that holds you together... What holds you together is much stronger than a Diamond... Love... It might not be perfect all the time but it is pure... We are with our husbands forever!!! We can't take a ring with us when we leave this life be we know we will still have each other =)... But yes it is still very sad and I would have cryed too =(

Lourie said...

Oh Amy, I am so very sorry. I don't have my orginal ring either. My ring was stolen from off the truck when it was sent for repairs. It was sad yes, but they had to replace it.

Emmy said...

I am so so sorry. I would have cried too- a lot. Oh I just feel so bad for you. That poem truly is wonderful though.

Em said...

I am so so sorry:( my stomach just dropped reading your story.