Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Mysophobia

I am a novice gardener.

I grew up with an immaculate yard.  It was truly beautiful.  My dad had some serious talent.
This is what my house looked like in the winter.  Beautiful still, hu?
Gardening is a hobby of his.

Unfortunately, I did not inherit that gift.


And yet, I try to garden anyway.  I figure, if you try hard enough at something, it can become a talent, right?

At any rate, I sort of hate gardening.

Mainly because two years ago, I was attempting to reclaim my yard.  When we bought our house, it had been a rental property for a few years.  To bachelors.  Who were students.  Who did zero yard work.

The whole back yard was covered in weeds nearly as tall as I am.  It was bad.  At any rate, we worked hard on that yard.  I was in the front yard, weeding, and people kept honking and waving at me.  I lived on a fairly busy street, and figured people were just happy for the nice weather.

After weeding, and cutting down tree sprouts, and a whole lot of bending over (you know where this is going, don't you?) our friend came by.  We visited with his mother for a bit, and then went around to the back where Jeffrey had been working.  After visiting for ten minutes or so, I went inside to blow my nose.  I have hay fever.

So I went in, and while I was in the bathroom getting some toilet paper for my nose, I noticed something.

My pants had a huge gaping whole in them!
Which explains all the honks and shouts I had been hearing.

I was mortified.

But I am good with awkward situations.

I went outside and made a joke about feeling extra breezy or something.

Our friend said he had been trying to find a subtle way to tell me.

And so, every time I bend over to weed, I worry that the world is seeing my unmentionables.

I now have a phobia of weeding the garden.
So much for the green thumb, hu?

9 comments:

Lisa said...

Oh wow! I'm so sorry! But thanks for the laugh - it was sorely needed this morning!

Sue said...

heehee

=D

Heather said...

oh that reminds me of a hilarious story involving my mom. remind me to tell it to you....

Terra said...

I would totally have a phobia too. It would pry stick around for a good season or two...constantly pulling my shirt down just in case...argh.

Lourie said...

Oh man! I am sorry that happened. I do not have a green thumb either. More like a brown one.

Francisca said...

::Giggle:: That is too funny! I'm just confused how you can garden during spring snow storms :p

Emmy said...

Lol! Sorry to be laughing but that story is hilarious. My mom has a green thumb too... Me it is more blackish

Kristin Klein said...

Hee! I don't think I could ever weed again (it's a good excuse anyway ;)

Kristin

Em said...

i grew up with gardeners. i don't know anything about gardening, but i'm so excited to give it a whirl! i'll make sure to keep an eye on my pants, lol.