Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Battle Wounds


 It seems the only thing that has been on my mind lately is the end of this week.  The time when the house should be finished and life should resume the semblance of normalcy that once was there. 

Today as we dashed to the hardware store (again) and back to the house and encountered many problems which have caused set backs, I began to think of the fairness of it all.  We need to get this project finished.

But do we really need that more than our kids need their parents?  Or more than our kids need sleep?  Every waking moment Jeffrey is not at work we are at the house with the kids visiting their grandparents.  We get home and put the kids to bed around 11 each night.  And then we start all over again the next day.  And I am feeling so guilty about it.  So I remind myself that it will only be for a few more days, and then I can love them and squish them to bits with all my spare time.  Instead of them following me around saying "Mommy, " I will be following them around until they tell me to go away.  Because I miss them so much.

Tonight when we got back to pick up the kids Keith attacked me with big hugs.  He hung onto me as he told me about the fun he had had and all the things he had done.  Faye was asleep but shortly after woke up when she heard me talking.  I picked her up and when it was time to put her into her car seat she clung to me with her heels.

And as I write this Keith is beginning to cough something terrible.  And I am wracked with pain and guilt of the selfishness of it all. 

So I will go back tomorrow and see if I can't get it all done. 

Well, I can't really because the wall has to be repaired and one of the cabinets we just bought is broken so I have to return that.  But if I can get the other cabinets painted and the completely intact walls painted, all will be well.  We will be on schedule for completion Saturday.  As is our goal.  Wish us luck!
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