Friday, December 11, 2009

True Confessions

I try to always be positive and upbeat with my posts (starting out like that doesn't bode well, does it?) but I also feel the need to be honest. And honestly, I am exhausted! I am tired! I am lucky if I get a shower! Welcome to my life as I adjust to 2 kids.

I am not the amazing mother that I want to be. I seriously have a hard time keeping my home clean. Not for lack of want, but just because it is so small, and it seems to collect clutter and messes. A toddler who insists on playing with his cars in whichever room I am currently cleaning doesn't help matters much, either. I want to be that mother. Like both of my sisters in law who have three kids and whose houses are always immaculate! How on earth do they do it? I just don't get it. And they take their kids to do fun activities, and make all sorts of crafts... I am begining to think they have some sort of super power. I feel good if my kids are dressed by dinner time, and if the dinner is made before Jeffrey gets home, that is a huge accomplishment! But I am not complaining, I am just wondering.

And I am wondering when life is going to calm down. It isn't because of the Holidays, it is just chaotic! But that would be courtesy of Faye, and I wouldn't trade her for anything, so I am just going to have to deal with the chaos. I had just gotten the hang of things when little Faye came along, and now it may take me two years to learn how to balance things again.

The funny thing is I generally start my day out pretty upbeat and full of energy and plans. I can get some things done in the morning, but by the time Jeffrey gets home I feel reduced to a pile of rubbish. I am just so tired and worn out and annoyed by the messes and demands. And the house is still messy. And I am still not showered. And two little bums need diapers changed. And two little mouths are begging for food. And attention. not the most pleasant thing for a husband to come home to, I know.

BUT

Both kids are sleeping right now (can you hear MoTab singing the Hallelujah Chorus as well?) so I am going to get the living room cleaned while they are down, and see if I can get the tree up to surprise Keith with when he wakes up.

I can't wait to see the look on his face when he comes out to see a little tree (it is about as tall as him) all lit up. What fun!

Unfortunately I can't find my SD card adapter (isn't that the story of my life?) so all the darling pictures of my little angels are going to have to wait. Hopefully I will get the house clean enough to find it this weekend. Another goal. Get pictures on here by Monday.

So my tired bones which are welcoming this weekend of Jeffrey being here to help with the kids a little so I can get some Christmas shopping done are going to work some magic in the cleaning department while all is still.

Wish me luck!

16 comments:

Familia Morales said...

Amy! My goodness girl, you don't clean while the kids are sleeping...you sleep! Go have a nap! It helps you have energy for when they are awake again.
And seriously, don't try to be supermom when you're still adjusting, recover first. Then breathe. And then go conquer the world.
*Sorry for the lecture*
Love ya!

Emmy said...

Good luck and it will get easier, you will get more used to it and it is all okay if it goes to pot for a while. :)

Vic said...

It will calm down after two years your right. Then again my baby is five and it's still not calm. I don't think it ever will be. I am going to wish you tons of luck and don't worry if things are a mess right now. I often wish I could be in NY to help my little sister with her 4 boys but she takes care of them darn good with NO help:) & I'm sure you have it all together in your very own way:)

Tiffany said...

i agree 100% with Familia Morales. If your babes are sleeping then honey, go to sleep. Trust me, I completely understand. I have a toddler and a 5 month old. My brain can hardly function with all the clutter in my little house right now, but it functions even less when I am lacking sleep. You have plenty of time to be super mom in the future...for right now, just be rested mom.

hugs to you :)

Tiffany said...

i agree 100% with Familia Morales. If your babes are sleeping then honey, go to sleep. Trust me, I completely understand. I have a toddler and a 5 month old. My brain can hardly function with all the clutter in my little house right now, but it functions even less when I am lacking sleep. You have plenty of time to be super mom in the future...for right now, just be rested mom.

hugs to you :)

Erin said...

It's not easy having a newborn! It's not easy having a toddler either. And together, they pretty much rock your whole world. For now, don't worry about the cleaning or anything. It will get better, eventually. I promise.

Roberts' family said...

Amy, I know how you're feeling. I felt like all I did was sit on the couch tried to cope. I felt overwhelmed and exauhsted for at least 3 months before I could develop some kind of routine to help me get through the day. Hang in there and don't fret about the house.

Sue said...

I agree with Tiffany AND Familia.

SLEEP!!!

=)

And remember, this too shall pass.

* { Shannon } * said...

Amy, I'm just impressed that you'e able to still write such beautiful and creative blog posts with a toddler and a new baby in your house! :)

Lara said...

Every mother feels this way, Amy. I promise.

And, it will calm down. This baby/toddler stage is amazingly fleeting. It's pretty much over for all of my kids and I actually miss it sometimes.

Noodle said...

It gets better I swear... I had that same feeling but as Faye gets used to the world and Keith gets used to Faye and the new routine and you get the having two kids pulling you in two diffrent directions down life falls back into "order" well as orderly as life with kids can get...

Gail said...

Oh Amy honey!!!!!!!! Ease up on yourself..... I remember thinking EXACTLY the same as you when my second was born. I couldn't understand how others "seemed' to have it all done.... when at 11am I was still putting on my pajamas ready the night before's sleep.

It all happens chick. I don't know when, but it does.... and if you're like me, you'll realize it about 6 months later.

If the washing isn't done.... just wait for the elves. They arrive at some stage. I know it's happened here!!!

Hugs,
Gailx

Capt'n Amazing's wife said...

I think its great that you still find time in the chaos to write about the chaos. If it were me, I might just hide under my covers until it is over. Good luck!

JaNae said...

Well, as you can see, you are not alone! There are many mothers of newborns out there that feel the same...me included, and I only have one. :) I have realized that the lack of sleep makes everything seem so much worse than it really is, so try to rest when you can.

Vic said...

Yeah I don't know where I've been. They are so easy to make yet I never had til now:) Have a good weekend gorgeous:)

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Boy, it seems like our parents had it so much easier. There wasn't as much to fill up the kid's days and therefore to fill up Mom's days. I'll bet your superfriends feel the pressure and anxiety to perform like Super Moms, and may be totally stressing out about it.