Tuesday, October 27, 2009

To Whom it May Concern

Dear Amy,

The nice thing about not knowing when the baby is coming is you have to live in a state of readiness. This should be a great growing time for you. For example.

  • The house must be clean at all times.
You never know when the baby is coming, and if someone has to come over and watch Keith suddenly, you don't want to be embarrassed with a dirty house. I mean really, how hard is it to keep clean? It is just you, your husband, and a toddler. Easy peasy!

  • You must have your bag packed and ready to go starting now.
I know you like to procrastinate, but listen, now is the time to get past that habit! You need to have your cd all ready to go (did you make it yet? You know, the one with all your favorite calming songs to play while giving birth.) Do you have enough clothes for the baby in the bag? What about toothpaste, toothbrush, etc? Did you even think about those things? And diapers. She has to wear something, you know.

  • What about the time you need to spend with Keith?
You can't spend all your time getting ready for the new baby, you know. You have a small child who needs a lot of your attention. Are you going to make pumpkin cookies with him? What about pie? What about carving that pumpkin with him? You know he will love pulling out the slimy seeds. And then roasting them. Don't forget your son!

  • Did you get a bed for her yet?
  • What is your family going to eat while you and baby are at the hospital?
  • Are you even close to being ready?
Sincerely worried,
Your Subconscious.

Dear Subconscious,

Thank you for your kind letter of stress. It was just what I need. More stress. But, that is why you are here, always looking out for me. In response to your many queries, I first have to say, you are just plain annoying. Can't you go bother someone else for a while?

I know my house needs to be cleaned. I am working on it. You try keeping things spotless while you are sick (blasted cold that is going around!), taking care of a sick toddler who insists on sharing everything with you (which would account for both of you being sick), and loves to mess up whichever room you are cleaning. It isn't easy. I am working on it! My mom came by last week and like the angel she is, braved the mold growing leftovers in my refrigerator and got it all cleaned out. I like to just open the door and look at it now. It is beautiful and doesn't emit any more foul smells. What a wonderful woman she is!

I plan on getting my house clean today. Completely. But here is the clincher. I have a bad SI bone. It hurts to walk. Really. It hurts to move my leg. So that hampers my cleaning ability. But I am determined to get it done anyways.

See, I have today all planned out. I just finished packing a bag for the hospital... with the baby's things anyway. I am going to get the house cleaned up. The oven is on self cleaning mode right now, which means in three hours I can clean it out. It will take a lot less time this way. While it is cleaning itself out, I am fold and put away the five loads of laundry that have been waiting on my living room floor for the past three days. I just don't like folding and putting away clothes. My goal is to get all the cleaning done while Keith is napping. When he wakes up we are going to make cake mix cookies (he wont know the difference. Really. He just likes to lick the bowl), and then gut that pumpkin!

Now excuse me while I go pretend to dance to Halloween music (see my playlist on the left sidebar)(pretend=can't walk much, remember?) and drink hot chocolate because it is snowing! The first snow fall of the season. Even you can't begrudge me that, oh dear Subconscious.

Happily ignoring you,
Post a Comment