Monday, May 18, 2009

Spider

Ladies and Gentlemen
Ladies and Gentlemen

Saturday Jeffrey and I were watching a movie (War Games) on the laptop while cuddling on the bed.
The lights were out (as they should be when watching a movie with your hubby)
and we were both rather enthralled with what was going on in the movie.
I suddenly screamed.

Spider
He is our hero
Spider

Get rid of
Spider
Step on
Spider
We love you, Spider

A spider suddenly ran off the keyboard and onto the bed.
I screamed
Jeffrey jumped up, and we turned on the light.
Nothing.
We looked on the floor, all around and even under the lappy.
Nothing.

I promise not to kill you
Spider

So we resumed the movie.
He didn't believe that I had actually seen a spider.
About five minutes later I felt something on my back. My first thought was it was Jeffrey's hand just lightly brushing my back.
I then made an accounting for his hands. One was around me, and the other was supporting his head.
That means it wasn't him.

I screamed again.
We turned on the light, and looked at the bed again.
There, as innocent as can be
Playing dead
lay a spider.
Not the actual spider

A freaking wolf spider was running across my back!
I have no idea how it got from the computer to my back and I refuse to think about it.
I screamed again.

Don't get me wrong, I am not a spider hater. I don't mind spiders if they are minding their own business.
The second they start crawling across me in the dark, I become the biggest antagonist that spider has ever known.

After the screaming stopped, I looked at it, grabbed a piece of paper and turned it over, and then Jeffrey took the paper and killed it.

The whole rest of the night every time i got an itch I thought it was another spider.

Disgusting!

Spider
We love you, Spider
Spider
Get rid of
Spider
Must stop

Spider
He is our hero

They Might Be Giants
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