Dream Catchers and Tender Mercies

There has been a lot of talk about dreams in our house, lately.

The kids share a room.  They are getting good at coming up with excuses to get out of bed or stay up late.

Sunday night they had been tucked in to bed and two hours later Faye came into my room, rubbing her eyes, telling me she had a bad dream.  She had to fight a dragon.  I asked her if she won, and she looked at me like I was crazy.  "It was just a dream, Mom." she said.  

The door opened again, and there stood Keith, lip quivering, his huge almond eyes squinting at me with trepidation.  He didn't know how he would be received.  Would I send him to bed immediately, or cuddle with him, too.  Faye was still getting her "bad dream cuddles" in.

Evidently he had a bad dream as well.  He was also fighting a dragon in his dream.  His dragon had a thousand heads.

I began to suspect they had not been sleeping, instead had been talking and had scared themselves.  How strange that they would have the same bad dream at the same time, right?

Since this was turning into a habit, the "bad dreams," something had to be done.  It was the fourth night in a row.

I took them both back to their rooms and tucked them in.

Again.

I gave Faye my stuffed elephant that I have had since I was three and told her that he would always protect her.  He hadn't ever let anything bad happen to me, and he would do the same for her. 

I gave Keith a stuffed tiger and we talked about how most animals are afraid of tigers, and the tiger would protect him.  

I pointed out the dream catcher on the wall.

  It is not the typical dream catcher that you think of.  Last summer I got to be in an art therapy group and it was one of the assignments that we needed to create.  Everything about it is symbolic about something important to me.  It is round, of course, which symbolizes eternity.  Because a circle has no beginning or end.  In the center is ribbon which says Happily Ever After.  Because this is my happily ever after.  Hanging from that ribbon is a key which symbolizes the Priesthood. The power of the Priesthood is what makes us an eternal family.  The Priesthood can protect us and help keep us from harm.  Woven throughout the Happily Ever After ribbon and around the circle is a chain of flowers.  They were just pretty.  They didn't have a real purpose, but I am sure I could BS one if I needed to.  Hanging at the bottom of the circle are some mint green ribbons and lavender ribbons.  They matched the flower chain.  Also, I tell the kids that the good dreams trickle down those ribbons and into their heads.  Dangling in the midst of those ribbons are two charms.  One is a pink flower and one is a blue flower.  Representing each of my babies, of course.  That dream catcher is made strong with our love as a family.  The more love we show each other, the stronger it will be.  It can keep out the bad things if we make it super strong.  It is already strong because we have an awful lot of love in our family.  I explained that it catches and keeps away most bad dreams, and they could sleep knowing they are safe and loved.  They both went to sleep with smiles on their faces.  It made me so happy to see them smiling in their sleep.

Last night I had some bad dreams.  On top of getting two hours of sleep total.  It was a rough night.  This morning, though, when I was telling Jeffrey about the three disturbing dreams I had, Faye overheard and ran out of the room.  I thought it was because of my yucky dreams.  I thought maybe they had scared her.  Seconds later she was back with the dream catcher.  "This will help you have sweet dreams, Mommy!" she said.

It was a rough day today.  Two hours of sleep which were crappy does not make for a very happy or nice mommy.  Poor Keith got the brunt of it as he insists on having power struggles with me.  I always win when I don't get enough sleep.  I yelled at him.  I think I have only done that four times in his life.  He ran from the room crying and I felt like dirt.

We had a very hard morning.

This afternoon, however, some very good things happened.

Well, one, but it was so good, it made all the bad pale by comparison.

I was driving home after learning the AC unit in our rental house had gone out and was going to cost a couple hundred to fix.  Happily, my cousin is the repair man, so I know we are in good hands.  But spending money on things we haven't budgeted for is never a fun thing.

As I was driving, I got a phone call.  

"Hi, Amy.  I am calling from the charter school.  We had a couple of spots open up and are accepting Keith for this fall." 

It was the voice of an angel.

I had to pull over as tears had srpung to my eyes as she explained everything to me.

I have been so full of gratitude and joy over this new development.  

We really wanted our kids to go to this school.  It is an Expeditionary Learning school, which is a lot more hands on, critical thinking, and creative thinking kind of school.  We had enrolled Keith into kindergarten at the local public school last week, thinking we had no other options.  I worry that Keith learns like Jeffrey, which means he is brilliant and never forgets anything he learns, but goes about it in a different way than most students, thus frustrating teachers and making things harder for him.  This way of learning is right up his alley and perfect for him, and I believe it will give him better educational opportunities and help him so much more than a public school which is more of a "one size fits all" approach.  Also, my sister's kids all went to an EL school, and they are some of the brightest and most well adjusted kids I have ever met.

The rest of the day was spent gathering all the information I needed because tonight was the kindergarten round up/registration.  I called the public school to un-register Keith and get back all the paperwork I gave them, which was awesome because it saved me a few trips to other places.  As soon as Jeffrey got home from work we dropped Faye off with my parents and went to his kindergarten meeting.

Keith was not so sure he wanted to go to the charter school since learning several of his friends would be going to the public school with him.  But he was a good sport.  He decided to get dressed up like the Doctor, and even asked for his hair to be combed! 

I was shocked and pleased.  He looked awfully handsome.  He met the kindergarten teachers, did an activity with them, and is now convinced that he will love the school.  Especially because their mascot is a Viking.  And he gets to wear a uniform.

Jeffrey and I have had our hearts set on our kids going to this type of charter school for so long, it was devastating in February to learn he hadn't made it in the lotto.  Wait listing can be so hard.  Today, dreams came true.

Keith's acceptance was the epitome of a tender mercy for me.  It was the little nudge and reminder that I needed.  I am so happy and grateful for the blessing of him being accepted.  I know that all things happen for a reason, and I know that prayers are answered.  This was an answer to a prayer we had been praying for more than a year.  It is going to take a lot of sacrifice on our part.  The school is 20 minutes away and there are no buses, but we are so happy to make the sacrifice of getting up that much earlier and making the drive every day.  Education is important.  And when the Lord blesses us, we have to do our part, too.

So happy!

Mud Bath and More

The other day the perfect comic came in the paper.  I read it and smiled.  Later that day, I re-read it and laughed until I was crying.

 It really was the perfect day for a nice muddy day, according to the kids.

 

It was the first really sunny and warm day of the year, and the kids really took advantage of the opportunity to water down their sand pit and make some good clean mud.

Last Saturday Jeffrey was a super hero.  I was so lucky to get to go hang out in Salt Lake for the morning, and he watched the kids, took them to soccer, ran errands, and even picked up a surprise for them while I was gone.  While I was happily putting on my bohemian act of walking the streets of the city, siting at a bistro table and writing my thoughts in my handy dandy notebook.  And then calling it handy dandy completely un-cools it.  I got to have lunch with my good friend at a wonderful Nepalese restaurant before coming home.

We spent the rest of the afternoon putting the trampoline together.  Backwards.  The trampoline wasn't backwards, the way we put it together was backwards.  Consequently, the safety net still isn't installed completely.  Evidently that was one of the first things we should have done, but it was the last we did, and it will require removing all of the springs again... which was really hard to put together in the first place. Sigh.  Soon, though, so the kids can play without one of us out there watching.  

When we finally got the new toy put together, Faye immediately set to jumping.  We got the trampoline for her since the girl is part kangaroo.  She jumps on everything.  Now, when she jumps on the bed, couches, stairs, table, etc, we can just send her outside.  Keith didn't get to jump that night, though.  He was too worn out from playing with Dad all day.

He fell asleep around 6:30 and slept until the same time the next day.  6:30 am, I mean.

 But it was put to full use the next day.

I found a coupon for Subzero ice cream.  It was a hot day, in the 90's and I gave the kids the choice of ice cream or snow cones.  They chose ice cream, so I decided to combine a sweet treat with science.  Cream, sugar, and liquid nitrogen combined together make ice cream.  It is so neat to watch, and the whole time, Keith was enthralled.  And oh my goodness, the ice cream is delicious!

 So yummy!

Wednesday I had another dentist appointment in Salt Lake.  The fourth one in four weeks.  But I think we finally have the problem figured out.  I have extremely sensitive teeth, and very unique, too, evidently.  While we were near, we decided to take a drive up the mountains.  We were going to go to Silver Lake, but when we got up there, everything was covered in snow.  Too soon.  It was a beautiful drive, at least.

Instead, we went to the park where Keith and Faye spent the whole time on the merry go round.

We have been having a lot of fun lately.

Being a Mom is the best thing in the world.  The best and the most fun.  I love this job of mine!

Asleep With Eyes Wide Open

The kids didn't want to go to bed tonight.

Keith was ridiculously tired, and Faye... well, she accidently had a nap today.  Will I ever learn with her?

We did the bedtime routine and tucked them in at 8.

It is 9:30 and they are still playing.  Well, Faye has been playing with everyone she encounters since then.  Keith has been angry with everyone he encounters since then.

I went in to firmly send them to bed.  They were both in Keith's bed and playing.  I separated them, sent Faye to her bed, and Keith began crying tears of anger.  Faye, picking up the defiant mood of Keith shouted at me

"Fine!  But I am going to sleep with my eyes open!"

Bwahahaha!  She is such a funny girl!

On another topic, have I mentioned lately how much I love my dentist?

I got a call tonight from a number I didn't recognize.  Usually I don't answer but I decided to this time.

It was my dentist.  He was calling to see if my tooth he had fixed was doing alright.

The thing is, I have been to see him three times in three weeks for the same tooth.  The last time I was there he said "you have the most .... uh.... interesting.... bite I have ever seen.  Your teeth are so sharp and steep and they are so precise in the way they fit together."  The sad thing is I was planning on calling tomorrow anyway.  My tooth isn't better yet.  I hate going because there is always pain or discomfort, but afterwards the kids and I play, so it isn't all bad.

I just thought it was very thoughtful of my dentist to call a week after he tried to fix my tooth.  Every dentist I have had in the past leaves the calling up to me.  They work on my mouth and then forget about me until I call them again and it feels like a one sided relationship.  This dentist is impressive.  Seriously, service like this is a thing of the past.  It makes the pain and discomfort somehow less painful and uncomfortable somehow.

At any rate, these are just my thoughts on the day for now.  It is late and I generally have lost most of my mental faculties by this point in time.  Faye is calling for me again.  Go figure.

Banning Naps

10:00 am

Faye was a zombie.  She was following me around the house with her blanket, laying down on any surface she could find.  She stoutly argued she was NOT tired, she just wanted to be by me and she liked her blanket.

11:00 am

We left the house to run errands.  She nearly fell asleep in the van.

11:10-12:50 pm

Faye whined.  She whined and was wiggly, and blatantly disobedient.  She delighted in tormenting her brother, even though it got her hurt.

1:00 pm

We got home from errands and went outside for lunch.

1:10 pm

Faye threw a royal tantrum.  She cried and screamed and stomped her feet and pounded her fists into the cushions of the couch.

1:30 pm

I put Faye down for a nap.

3:00 pm

I went into her room and insisted Faye wake up from her nap so she would be able to sleep tonight.

10:00 pm 

Jeffrey and I were in bed, discussing Bob Saget and some other nonsense.  Our door was open a crack and I heard a little jangling sound in the hall.

I stopped talking to listen.

Jeffrey was in the middle of a topic, so didn't stop talking and thought I was listening to him.

I wasn't, I was straining my ears to hear what the jangling sound was.

It came again.  

Off and on, intermittently for about 5 minutes.  

Someone was outside our bedroom door, but the crack was in such a way that I couldn't see out into the dark hallway.

Eventually, the door creaked open, and Jeffrey stopped talking to see who was coming into our room so late.

"I couldn't sleep what are you doing?" 

With a messy honey tinged halo of hair, Faye stood smiling at us with squinty eyes from the light.

We both laughed, and invited her to climb into bed with us.

The tickling fest began.  If only you could hear her squeal and laugh like that.  I wish I could record that sound forever.  It is delight and innocence and trust squished into dangerous decibels.

She cuddled up against me, and then Jeffrey.  I love the look he gets on his face when he looks at her.  She melts him like fondue every time.

I love finding new freckles on the kids' bodies, and they always get so excited.  I saw one on Faye's leg while we were tickling her, pointed to it, and asked what it was.

"A freckle.  Don't touch it." she commanded.  When we asked her why not she said "It is a freckle that if you touch it you will turn into a freckle."  Such a funny girl.

By 10:30 Jeffrey got up to get us both a drink and to work on his homework some more.  I was eventually able to send Faye back to her bed.

10:30-11:00 pm

Singing is heard coming from the kids room.  Faye is once again singing herself to sleep.

11:05 pm

I laugh at something I read, and a few seconds later those squinty from the light eyes are back.

"What is making you giggle, Mommy?"  she asks so innocently and sweetly.

11:10 pm

She is finally in bed, and her room is silent.  My fingers are crossed it is for keeps this time.

Let this be a lesson to me.  No matter how cranky she is, Faye does not get a nap during the day!

She gets her night owl tendencies from her dad, I think.

Rewind and Repeat

Thunder is rumbling and deliciously fat raindrops are pattering the patio, creating intricate lacy patterns of dark and light. I am listening to the comforting pitter patter and the deep throaty sounds of the storm through the open doors and windows in the kitchen as I sit here in the smells after dinner.  The dishes can wait.  Thunder and lightening are my favorites ever.  Especially when it comes in the summer.  Technically it isn't summer, but that doesn't matter.  I know the rain wont last very long and so I intend to enjoy it while I can.

The kids are playing happily around Jeffrey as he is doing his homework, and I have to smile.  I love this time of day.  Dinner time and just after is my favorite time of day.  It is the time when the whole family is together, and generally everyone is happy.  Right before bed and just after tummies are full.

I have begun to get back into cooking again, which makes me happy.  I have always loved creating things with food.  A while back, I was perusing some blogs and came across a recipe for Chicken Lo Mein.  Jeffrey saw the picture and begged for it.  I hate Chinese food, so very rarely do we eat it, restaurant or home made.  I was feeling generous today, and so made him the Lo Mein.

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I have to say, I think it would have tasted a whole lot better sans the chicken.  But he really liked it.  Turns out, I think it is actually a Japanese dish.  We also had avocado egg rolls.

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Oh my, heaven wrapped up in fried ecstasy   First off, the dip was a putrid green color, made with vinegar, cashews and cilantro.  All of which are on my "we are not friends" list.  For some reason, though, combined, they make the best wing-men in all of food-dom.  And then avocado egg rolls.  Need I say more?!  Jeffrey and I were terribly happy with dinner, though the kids were less than enthused.  Keith pretended he was Calvin from Calvin and Hobbs, and that his food was gagging and attacking him.  Faye just jumped on her chair until she used the potty excuse and never came back.  But that was fine, because it meant I got to eat their egg rolls, and Jeffrey got their noodles.

While I was cooking dinner, Keith and Faye were pretending to be wizards.  They put on their robes, and Keith put on some pajama pants and church shoes (because wizards have shiny black shoes), and they walked around the house hiding coins and pretending they had disappeared.  Occasionally they would wander into the kitchen while I was cooking dinner and try a "trick" out on me.  Faye decided she was hungry, and so sat down on the counter, took a chicken drumstick and proceeded to devour it, medieval style.

She told everyone she was a lizard.  Keith would smack his hand to his head and groan good naturedly and say "Faa-aayyye, it isn't lizard, it is Wizard!"  He did that about "eleventy billion times."  I love that he didn't lose his temper or get upset with her for saying the wrong word.  He is such a patient and kind older brother.


While Faye was napping this afternoon, Keith and I decided to plant some basil and chives.  I had gotten some of the living plants from the grocery store, and we are keeping our fingers crossed that they will actually live.  Especially with how often I use fresh basil.  Or want to, anyway.  While out there, I re-encountered my old nemesis. Doctor Greensward, aka Grass.  I always forget I am allergic to it until I am knee deep and enjoying myself, and then the rash breaks out, or the hives.  And the itching and sneezing and the itchy eyes, oh heavens!  It sure isn't fair that I have such horrendous allergies, because I love the outdoors so much.  I braved the grass anyway while we planted.  Keith was so enthusiastic and helpful in the planting of the plants.  I am excited for the time we get to have a garden of our own to take care of.  I am so excited for the blossoming of the trees, the lilac bush, and all the flowers.

 I am not excited for the hay fever and allergies that accompany them.

If I could have a do over of today, I would with my whole heart.  But not because it was a bad day and needs a do over.  Because it was a great day, and I would love to live it and relive it as many times over as possible.  Going to bed after such a wondrous day practically guarantees sweet dreams, right?

Burrito Bobbins

Where to start?  Today was simply lovely. 

During breakfast, Keith informed me that we were having school time at 9 o'clock.  For an hour and a half he kept asking me if it was 9 yet.  

When 9 rolled around, he went into his room, pulled out a piece of his race track to use as a pointer, and school began.

He spent the next 30 minutes explaining the exact formation of a planet. I was impressed by how much he actually got right!  He told me that when a star is very old it will sometimes explode, and all the dust particles from the exploded star will have a magnetic charge and gradually attract each other until it has a big enough mass to form a planet.  And then the moon keeps falling into the planet, but the planet moves out of its way just in time so it never hits it and that is how it always goes around. 

I can't believe he actually understood all of that so as to be able to repeat it and teach it!  He was adorable in his military uniform, though, complete with his Sunday shoes.

After a while of listening to Keith, I realized it was awfully quiet and had no idea where Faye was.  I found her outside, feet and ponies buried in the sand.  

Faye spent a few hours out in the sand pit.  As soon as it was warm enough and the ground soft enough, the kids dug a hole in the middle of the yard, and their sweet grandparents let them keep it to play in.

Since the weather is warmer, it means Faye is almost permanently without shoes.  

Eventually the day got a bit cooler and began to sprinkle, so Faye came in.  The windows and doors were open, and we all relished the sweet musty smell of newly wet dirt and plants.  Keith and Faye began playing some sort of hiding game, it made me laugh to see their little feet peeking out from beneath the blanket.  Jeffrey calls them his Bobbins, and they make such a delicious morsel of a burrito, don't they?  A Bobbin Burrito.

Today was lovely.  Cloudy breezy days are my favorite.

Ice Cream Dreaming

She dressed herself.  Love this girl's style!

Inspiration is a funny fickle thing.

It always seems to strike at just the wrong moment.  When I am in the middle of doing something.  When things are just perfect and I want to record the moment forever, inspiration strikes.

But it is always inconvenient.  Because I am in the middle of doing something, I can't leave to write down the thoughts in my head.  So I make a mental note, promising myself I will record it later.  And then I put the kids to bed, and sit down, ready to open my computer, and realize I am completely wiped out.  Both in thoughts and energy.  I have no desire to open my computer and want only to close my eyes and rest.

And so days go by, and I record nothing.  I am thinking I need to change my strategy.

Last night, though, Faye made me laugh so hard.

Jeffrey and I had just gotten home from Wing-man-ing it for a good friend.  It was late, and we went to check on the kids.

Keith was sprawled on his bed, a baby blanket flung across his neck, like a scarf billowing in the wind.  I smiled, pulled it off of him, pulled his blankets up, and nuzzled his sweet chubby cheeks.  I love those cheeks.  It will be a sad day when they thin out.  His hands are already losing their chub, which is a sad day. I breathed him in deeply, and climbed the ladder to Faye's bed.

She was completely uncovered and curled up in a ball, her head just off her pillow.  I reached up to move her back onto her pillow, as I usually do, and she sat up.  I worried that I had awakened her.  She was all sweaty and warm and beautiful.  I told her to lay down, and she mumbled something.

I asked her to repeat herself, she lifted her hand which was held tightly in a fist, said "I just want one more lick of my ice cream.  Just one more." and she began licking her hand, as if it were holding and ice cream cone.  I couldn't handle it, I dropped myself down from the ladder and ran into my bedroom, holding the laughter in until I nearly burst.  I laughed and laughed in my room, while Jeffrey stayed, trying to help her lay back down.  Eventually I was able to regain control and went back into her room.  She was still sitting up and muttering about ice cream while licking her hand.  I climbed back up, rubbed her back and murmured to her about how sweet she is, how much I love her.  She eventually lay back down, her hand away from her mouth, and she nestled back onto her pillow.  I pulled her blankets up around her, kissed her sweet cheeks, and together, Jeffrey and I left the children in their dreams, knowing they were happy and safe.

I am so glad I was able to record that moment with my kids, and really hope I can figure out a way to record the moments as they happen.

Chocolate Chips and Dandelions

This morning I decided to go to the store.  We are trying to teach Faye to count to 20 and she is stubbornly wanting to play instead.  She doesn't like to learn like Keith does.  I realized that she works for sweets.  I was going to pick up some little treats to help her count.  

I am not above bribing.

I got ready to go, and then headed to my room to get my purse and keys.

I couldn't find them.

I looked everywhere. I mean everywhere.  I looked in the cupboards, fridge, freezer, under beds, in closets, etc.  I looked everywhere I could think to look, and looked for a long time.  I did a lot of cleaning while looking, which was good, I guess.

I started to panic.  I couldn't find my purse or keys!  I knew they were downstairs somewhere because I remembered carrying them down on Saturday, but that was the last I could remember.

Finally, around 2, I collapsed on my bed, frazzled, grumpy and so worried.

I decided I needed to stop looking and I should bake cookies.  I was emotionally exhausted!

Jeffrey called me on his lunch break (he had a very late lunch) and asked if I had looked in his sock drawer.

Lo and behold, there was my purse.  Can't imagine why I didn't look there.  

To celebrate, Faye and I made cookies.

 

She was especially helpful in eating the dough.

Once the cookies were baked, I taught the kids the joy of cookies and milk, and dunking the cookies in the milk before eating them. 

I really don't like milk, so it hadn't occurred to me before to teach the kids about that right of passage.

Silly, I know.

 

They enjoyed it.  I think it may have caught on.

When looking around for a plate to store the cookies on, I remembered a sweet gift from my hubby.  A beautiful crystal cake stand (I think it is really glass, but crystal sounds so much classier), complete with cloche!  It makes the cookies absolutely beautiful.

When we finished cooking the goodies the kids went outside to play.

 As I cleaned up the kitchen, the smell of cookies made me smile.  The sun streamed through the kitchen window, a slight breeze ruffled the curtains, and I smiled in the moment.

"Mommy, the dandelions finally came in!"  Faye yelled, bursting through the door with a fistful of cheery yellow flowers.  We filled a small glass with water and put them on display.  I think I need to plant more flowers for my little girl.

Flowers and cookies.  The perfect remedy to a stressful morning.

Haunted Living

Today is my sister's birthday.

I sure love her a lot.  She has one of the kindest and most giving hearts I have ever encountered.

Happy birthday, MaryAnn!

Life is hurtling along at its break neck speed, as usual.

Funny how all week long I think of wonderful things the kids did or said and how I want to record them, and then when it comes down to it, I am too busy or too tired, or too something else to even open my computer and those precious moments are lost forever.

Friday I was disgusted with how gross my van had become over the cold months and finally decided to clean it out.  While I was cleaning, the kids decided they wanted to wash it, so I let them.  I have some adorable pictures of them, except after Keith's soccer game on Saturday I got a new phone and Jeffrey inherited my old one. Complete with photos of the kids.  It will be a while before I can find him unoccupied enough to let me snag them, so just imagine a hot day, the sun glinting off the cinnamon colored (that is the nice way to say brown) van, a ladder, and two little helpers, each with a rag in hand, scrubbing their little hearts out, content as can be.  Imagine Bastille playing in the background and a very hot me vacuuming out and wiping down all surfaces inside the van.  Minus the windows, because when it gets that hot, the cleaner evaporates before I can actually wipe it off, thus leaving big streaks.

On a final note, I am beginning to suspect that this house has ghosts.  Or magic of some sort.

A few weeks back, Jeffrey and I were in our room talking.  He was sitting on the bed and I was on the big ugly chair in the corner.  We were just chatting about... no idea, really.  I had a clear view of the light switches and as we chatted, I watched the light switch slowly move down and switch off.  It was so weird.  We were surprised by the phenomenon but obviously shrugged it off.

Tonight, I was watching a show while cleaning up my room.  I admit, it had ghosts in it, so I was a little spooked out to begin with.  As I walked down the hall to put Faye's shoes away, I heard a noise that made my heart jump and speed up a little fast.  It sounded like something banging in my room, like something had just fallen against the wall, but I knew no one was in my room.  I summoned courage and went back, but everything was just the way I had left it.  After a few deep breaths I told myself I was being silly and went about my straightening up.

To continue, I need to explain a bit of the anatomy of the basement.  There is a large family room with a hall leading down towards three rooms.  The kids' room is on the left in the hall, and where the hall ends there is a door and a little pocket with three doors.  The ending door is my Father in law's office.  The pocket is our bedroom, three feet across from our bedroom is the door to the furnace closet, and directly adjacent to both is the bathroom door.

So, as I was walking towards my bedroom, just passing the furnace closet, the door shook, rattled, and then opened.  I ran as fast as I could, down the hall, and towards Jeffrey.  He was sitting, doing his homework and laughed at me.  My palms were sweaty, my heart was beating a stocatto in my chest, and I couldn't breathe.  He looked at me, jumped up, and asked "What's worng?!  What happened?"  I stood there breathing hard and just looked at him, trying to catch my breath.  He was tense.  I was finally able to breathe out enough to tell him about the knocking and then the door opening.

He laughed at me.

I told him to stop laughing and fix it.

He sighed, shook his head, and walked down the hall and looked in our room.  For some reason, he thought I was talking about the noise being in our room.  I stood in the hall, just a ways away from the door, not rounding the corner.  I was still too scared.  I pointed at the wall indicating the furnace closet, and he strode across the three feet, and then flung open wide the door.

Of course there was nothing there.  Of course there was nothing to explain the opening and closing of the door.  Of course I looked like just a scared little girl.  But what could I do?

The light had just turned off on its own.  Jeffrey was there and saw it, so I am not crazy.

The door did rattle and then open on its own, but this time, I was the only one who was there.

I beginning to sympathize with Faye when she cries about having to go downstairs alone to get things.

I think we might be living with ghosts.

Just saying, is all.

School

The kids and I were walking with someone from the neighborhood earlier this week when a topic came up.

Kindergarten.

I got both excited and scared at the same time.

Keith is going to be starting Kindergarten in the Fall.

Yesterday he came with me to pick up the paperwork.  As we were walking out of the school, Keith groaned.  

"I have to learn to read before I can go to school!  They are going to want me to count to a thousand.  I can't do that!  They wont let me in the school because I can't read yet, and I can't tie my shoes all the way."

He was really getting frantic with worry.

I looked into his wrinkled with worry face, and gave his hand a squeeze as I explained to him that school is the place where you get to learn all those things.  I told him that his dad and I are trying to give him a head start by teaching him all those things, but he will never have to count to a thousand out  loud, and he shouldn't worry about it.  

To help appease his fears, and because Jeffrey is wonderful like that, every night before bed he makes up a worksheet for the kids.  For Keith, it is simple math and simple reading.  He writes his first and last name on the top, answers the math questions, and draws a picture of the word or sentence that Jeffrey writes for him. For Faye, he makes a dot by dot letter or word for her to trace, and then a box for her to draw a picture of whichever word she traced.

The early afternoon is usually when we work on the worksheets.  It is the perfect time.  The sun glints through the windows creating that beautiful glow.  There is a bit of a lull in energy, the kids are ready for a snack and a redirection of their little minds.  I love this time of day with them.  I really think I am going to miss this part of the day once school starts.  Then again, perhaps we will get to enjoy this part of day while we have a snack and work on homework next year.

Today was wonderful, but exhausting.  I am not sure I remember the last time I felt the bone wrenching tiredness like today.  I spent the afternoon in the kitchen.  I baked bread again, made homemade tortillas and cafe rio knock off for dinner.  For some reason, though, by the time I was half done with the dishes, I just couldn't continue.  I was completely exhausted.  I lay on the couch while the kids and Jeffrey ran around with their nightly wrestling match.  I listened to their happy noise and counted my blessings.  To be a mother, listening to the sounds of my family playing so contentedly around me completely made everything worth it.  The swollen ankles, the throbbing feet, .  The exhaustion was so worth it in that moment.  I would gladly work myself to sleep every day just to experience this.  At the end of the day I go into the children's room and see those dark lashes on the sweet chubby cheeks, it makes my heart pitter patter with gratitude.  The rewards of motherhood just keep coming and coming.

I love my job!