Friday, October 2, 2015

I Stand All Amazed

Today has been such an incredible day.

When I went to bed last night, I took some Tylenol because I still had a migraine and in my experience, when I go to bed with pain still in my head, it always gets worse when I wake up. If I go to bed with a headache, I will wake up with a full on migraine. And so, I was attempting preventative measures. Except Tylenol and my headaches are much like oil and water. They just don't mix, or have any effect. Or rather, the Tylenol can't touch the pain, and it feels like I am popping very painful to swallow seeds of some sort. Uncomfortable and pointless! But really, enough about my head pain. The point is I woke up with a migraine this morning, making this the longest ever migraine I have experienced. It is now roughly 48 hours of pain. 

And that leads us to what an incredible day today was!

Not something you would think to hear in the midst of a migraine, but it is true nonetheless.

I have felt such an amazing outpouring of love today, it has been truly humbling. I keep thinking of the hymn I Stand All Amazed.

I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me
Confused by the grace that so fully he proffers me...

Random people have been contacting me all day, telling me they have been thinking about me and praying for me. I guess random is not the right word for them, because they are not random at all. They are dear, dear friends. I am not sure they are aware of how much I need those prayers, or how touched and grateful I am for their love and thoughtfulness. What sweet tender mercies! And also, I have to say, I have the most amazing people in my life. I struggled finding good friends all my childhood. I remember crying in my room and praying for good friends. Friends who cared about me. And holy smokes, those grief-filled prayers have been answered a million times over. Because really, my friends are better than yours, and that is a fact! Because they are the best! And I am just full of love and gratitude for them all. 

But back to today. I was able to sleep for the majority of the day, trying to stave off the pain. At 2, though, Faye had a field trip. I had to go on it with her, and a field trip for four classes of kindergartners, with a migraine is not a fun place to be. But it was a cute activity, and Faye had an absolute blast! And then we got ice cream afterward. I love how generous that girl of mine is. She was given the choice of an ice cream cone, nearly any flavor she wanted, and the girl saw a cooler full of popsicles. It was 3 for the price of 1, and so she insisted we get Popsicle. That way, she reasoned with me, she could have one, and both her siblings could have one as well. What an absolute doll she is!

When we got home, I could scarcely handle the pain any longer, and called a dear friend who just happens to be a licensed massage therapist. I explained to her that Jeffrey had tried to massage my neck, but he was afraid of breaking it (silly boy) and I was really hoping that releasing the tension in my neck could help with my migraine. And so, we worked out a time and I went to her house, and she worked her magic on my neck and we chatted for a long time. I just love her! She and I are practically the same person. We share a birthday and everything. 

I just cannot articulate how blessed I am feeling right now! Especially because my head is feeling better, and General Conference is tomorrow! I am hoping to get some answers and much needed peace tomorrow, though. I absolutely love General Conference! It is one of my favorite times of the year!

Thursday, October 1, 2015

October 1 Car Wash

I am so excited that today is October 1st! I had such great plans for our party, but then due to a nightmarish night last night, I woke up with a severe migraine that nothing could take away.

Beth decided to wake up at 5:30 this morning. Which is fine, because I was already up. We cuddled on the bed for a while, and then she thought she had to go potty. Her excitement over not going potty woke up Faye, who promptly woke up Keith.

I decided to honor the day by making Keith an incredible lunch. I was all kinds of proud.

He was less than impressed. Silly boy. He doesn't know how good he has it. When I was a kid, I got a smooshed peanut butter sandwich, a whole tomato or green pepper, and if I was really lucky, I would get a quarter for milk.

After taking the kids to school, Beth was tugging on her ear, (her very clear sign that she was ready for a nap) so I put her in her room, and I laid down in my bed. Except sometime between yesterday and today she learned how to open her door. She kept coming out of her room, giggling, and saying "Night night, Mommy!" I finally got up and locked her door. Because remember when this happened? That is why I can lock her door now.

I was able to sleep for two blissful hours before she woke me up. I have no idea if she slept or not, but I did. Although it didn't touch the migraine.

And then I was saved by an angel today.

Lisa stopped by because she felt like I could use a treat. She knew about my nightmareish evening and was just being a sweetheart. As soon as I opened the door, though, she could see that I was in a lot of pain, and she took my girls to play with her kids at her house. 

I was so overcome with gratitude for all the help Lisa has been, that with the quiet thud of the front door, I dissolved into tears. Of course, I had to quickly stop, because when dealing with a migraine, tears always make it worse. And then I went to my room, and lay down and slept off and on. Lisa brought them back around 4:30, along with dinner for us. Seriously, she has been an absolute angel these past two days!

Once the kids were all home, they decided to play outside for a bit.

They found a bottle of spray paint which I thought was empty. Apparently it wasn't. 

They found the old car that we are trying to get ready to sell.

They thought it would be fun to put the two of them together.

And then Faye came in the house and said "Mom, don't kill me, okay? Remember the Potato? (That is what Jeffrey always affectionately called his car) Well, we found some spray paint and, um..."

Jeffrey and I heard those words and rushed outside to assess the damage.

A beautiful blue randomly painted all over his car. Thank heavens it wasn't his new car! We tried to talk to the kids, but Keith kept running and hiding, Faye continued climbing all over his car, and Beth was just being her adorable cute self. We still have no idea what they were thinking. Happily, we discovered that warm water and dish soap can take freshly sprayed (and dried) paint off a car.

Thank heavens! The children were given rags and the water, and proceeded to wash not only the paint off the car, but all the accumulated dirt, and anything else they could reach. His car got a much needed wash.

And then we had a much minified version of our annual October 1st party. Gorgeous monster doughnuts from Krispy Kreme, and we watched some old Mickey Mouse Halloween cartoons before the kids went to bed. It was a long shot from our traditional celebrations, but at least we were able to have one despite my migraine and crazy amounts of morning sickness.

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Norwegian Toast

Because she is just a funny girl, Beth decided she wanted to eat her toast in the bath this morning. It made me laugh and think of Norwegian Wood, and my sister. Once when she spent the night at my apartment when I was in college, she wanted to sleep in the bath, because it would be funny if any roommates woke up early and wanted to shower but found her in there. Weird girl. My brother I think slept in the bath at my sister's house. We are a Norwegian Wood sort of family, I guess.

"I once had a girl, or should I say, she once had me
She showed me her room, isn't it good, Norwegian wood?

She asked me to stay and she told me to sit anywhere
So I looked around and I noticed there wasn't a chair

I sat on the rug, biding my time, drinking her wine
We talked until two and then she said, "It's time for bed"

She told me she worked in the morning and started to laugh
I told her I didn't and crawled off to sleep in the bath

And when I awoke I was alone, this bird had flown
So I lit a fire, isn't it good, Norwegian wood?

Sit, sleep or eat in the bath, that is how we do it.

In other news, it worked! I wasn't tired today. I didn't take any unisome last night, and I had energy today! I got quite a bit done, and it certainly made me feel great. I miss having a clean house. Not to say that my house is clean by any means, but it is much better than it was yesterday. On the downside, the nausea hasn't been great. But really, it is so much better to be a bit nauseated over being drugged.

Aside from that fun news, today was a regular day, just like any other. The girls had fun playing together while Keith was still at school. We had to make a trip down to SLC and it ended taking us so much longer than I had anticipated. There and back plus a few errands run meant we were in the van for a total of two hours. They were a bit crazy when we finally got out.

And I just have to say, I absolutely adore my husband. He has been so wonderful and kind through this all. There is always so much more peace when the house is clean, but he has been understanding that the house is messy, and sometimes dinner is frozen burritos or sandwiches, or even just cereal. I haven't made bread in months, and although he loves having homemade bread, he has been suffering through the cheap store bought bread without a word of complaint. And while he does that, I do my best to do what I can. He has also been taking the kids on little excursions so that I could rest, and he has really been pitching in with the cleaning. Of course, his version of cleaning and mine are very different, but I really appreciate all that he does. He is wonderful. I just love his guts!

This has been quite a learning and growing experience for me. Between this and primary, I have really had to learn to let things go. I usually get wound up and uptight over a messy house and not being in control of things. My counselors and secretary are amazing with helping me learn to let go and to trust other people to follow through. I really think they are a large part of my learning to let go of things. And then there is the whole not being able to do anything about the mess. I sort of had to let go. And experience has taught me that after a baby is born, it usually takes me a good 6-9 months before I get on top of things again. So learning to let things go right now is probably a really good thing.

Monday, September 28, 2015

Popcorn and Blue-green Happiness

Yesterday was the primary program. The kids did so well, and it was neat being able to sit up on the stand and see the reactions of all the parents, grandparents, and congregation. Although, I really only got to watch during the songs. Otherwise, I was busy making sure the kids were all where they were supposed to be. When it ended, I breathed a huge sigh of relief, and walked into the primary room with my head spinning and just a mess. I couldn't remember what we were supposed to do first. I asked my counselors, and funny enough, they couldn't remember either. We were just so burned out, and so happy that everything went wonderful.

I had completely forgotten that I needed to plan a sharing time lesson for Sunday, because I was so focused on the program. I remembered Thursday night, and stressed about it until Saturday night. Adrienne is brilliant and helped me figure everything out. We talked about from where we learn about Christ. How it is so important to study the scriptures, because that is where we get our knowledge. I pulled out some popcorn seeds and talked about how when we are born we don't know anything and it is so important to learn and grow and seek out things, because that is the only way we will learn. I put the popcorn in my stir crazy popcorn popper, and then I showed a clip of President Packer teaching about the importance of learning from the Bible. Shortly after the clip ended, the popcorn began to pop. We talked about how we are so bland and hard without the Savior, but if we turn ourselves over to Him, He can make us into more than anything we could ever become without Him. I then shared the popcorn with the kids. They loved it. After I had passed it out to everyone, I just wanted to make sure they had gotten the idea, and I asked them why they had gotten popcorn. 

"Because we watched a movie." three or for of them answered. 


I reiterated the point of my lesson being that without the Savior we are basically nothing. I really hope they got that and didn't think that they just got popcorn and movie!

Today I had a realization. I have been ridiculously tired thus far this whole pregnancy. To the point that I was beginning to wonder if there was something wrong with me. More than tired, dead on my feet. My limbs have been feeling like jelly, and I just feel like I can't even move. It has been a nightmare! But Friday, Saturday, and Sunday I had energy. I was so excited! I thought I had finally turned a corner and was officially in the second trimester for real, but today I was completely dead on my feet again. And that is when I figured it out.

Through all of my other pregnancies I had been advised to take unisome to help with the nausea. Every other pregnancy it was highly advised. And so that is what I had been doing. But then last week, the nausea began to subside, and so I quit taking the unisome, and magically I got energy! Last night, just before I went to bed I was about to take my iron and prenatal when I was hit with a mean wave of morning sickness. It was brutal. I knew there was barely a chance of me being able to get my pills down, let alone keep them down! And so I took some unisome, waited an hour, and it worked. I was able to take my pills with no difficulty. Except I have felt drugged all day today. And that is when I figured it out. The unisome for some reason is really effecting me differently this time around. I think I would rather deal with the nausea than being bed ridden because I just can't move my limbs. 

So there is that. I will shortly be able to move around again, like normal, and do all the normal mom things again. Which is good, because I have two field trips to go to this week, and I just can't go if I am still bed bound.

Knowledge is power, as they say, and thanks to figuring this out, I will again have energy, which is the same as power in my book. 

I am so lucky that the kids are all so good at entertaining themselves while I am holed up in bed. Beth and Faye built forts out of my pillows, and laughed and played. We did homework on the bed, and Beth colored all over my bedspread while I was helping Faye and not paying attention to hear. I now have beautiful blue-green happiness enhancing my otherwise boring grey and yellow bed motif. Part of me thinks I should be upset about it, but the other part is either too tired, or knows that in fifteen or twenty years I will miss things like this. 

Because childhood and babies are fleeting.

Saturday, September 26, 2015

Dip for the Win

When I was pregnant with Faye, we lived in our first house. On Saturday nights, while Jeffrey did his homework, Keith and I would fold clothes, eat nachos and watch BYU football. It was a wonderful bonding  time that we shared, and we both really enjoyed it. I learned a lot about football that I never knew. It helped that a lifetime friend and a high school football coach lived in our basement and could clarify things for me when I was confused.

In the years past, we were not able to continue this tradition because we didn't have access to ESPN. This morning, however, I happened to read an article about BYU football, and it mentioned that the game was airing today on ABC, game time 1 o'clock. That, I have access to!

I told Keith about our good luck, and he and I began to excitedly prepare for the game.

In my preparations, I double checked the time for the game, and to my horror, it had already begun, and indeed, was half over! We rushed downstairs to the TV and turned it on. Unfortunately, we haven't used our TV stations since we moved here (thank you, Netflix!) and setting it up took a bit of time. While we were waiting for the box to "access network" the kids and I rushed to the van, and hurried to the store to get ingredients for the dip, and some chips, all while listening to the disappointing game on the radio. We got home, and the network still wasn't accessed. In desperation, we hooked up the computer and some speakers to the TV, and watched the last 10 minutes (which took an hour) of the game, all while moaning about the losses. Sniff.

But it didn't matter, because Keith, Faye, Beth and I were watching the game together, and I just loved having them around me, asking questions and getting excited or disappointed with me.

And the game ended. We missed the majority of it, and none of us wanted our bonding time to end. Which is why we turned to the Sanderson Sisters and their Hocus Pocus for comfort.

I'd say, that although our team lost, I think we still won in the end.

Amy's BYU Dip for the Win!

1 block of Velveeta cheese (I like the spicy one)
1 can of Rotel
1 can of all carne chili (Hormel's is what I usually get)
1/3 cup of milk. Or more, depending on if it needs it.
a couple dashes of chipotle chili, depending on how spicy you want it
a squirt of lemon juice.

Combine everything in the pot and stir as the cheeses melt. Today I accidentally added too much milk, so I also threw in a block of cream cheese as well. When the cheese is all melted, put dip into a ridiculously stylin' nerd bowl, like the one featured in the pictures above. The nerd bowl enhances the flavor, and the dipping experience, or so I have been told. 

This is to be made every game day. I swear, if I had made it  before the game had started, we would have won today. Just sayin'.

In a Word, Glorious!

"Mama. Mama, help!" I heard from Beth's room yesterday morning. 

I had converted her crib into a toddler bed last week, in order to prepare her to completely give it up in six months or so. I don't want any jealousy between her and the baby over the bed that the baby will be sleeping in. This was the same reason I moved Keith to a bed when he was 20 months. Because when he was 25 months, he would be losing his crib to a new baby. It seemed to work well. But I digress. Beth has been sleeping wonderfully in her bed. She hasn't fallen out of it once, even though there is no side rail to keep her in. Not that it would matter, she is so near the floor, but I am very glad that she hasn't been tumbling out. She still can't open her bedroom door. Which is funny, because she can open every other door in the house, and her bedroom door is just the same as all the others, but I can't say I'm sad about it. And so, yesterday morning she called for help, and I opened her door to let her out, because that has become the customary morning greeting with Beth lately.

Except her bed was empty! 

Her blankets were on the floor, but they, too, were empty.

I looked all around her room, and I couldn't find her, but I could hear her muffled voice calling "Mama, help!"

I looked in the closet, and it was empty. She was still calling for me, and so I looked in the last available place in her room, I looked in the very narrow space beneath her bed. She was wedged beneath her bed, not even able to raise her head. She had no idea where she was or how she got there, and I laughed so hard, I could scarce pull her out! I imagine she rolled off her bed at some point in the night, and then rolled beneath her bed and continued to sleep. When she woke up, she was confused because she was trapped and because of the dust ruffle around her bed, she couldn't work her way out. 

I still get belly laughs anytime I remember that moment. She is such a funny little girl! 

And my day just got better from there. 

Yesterday was the first time in about three months that I actually had energy. I mean, it wasn't my normal level of energy by any means. But I didn't feel completely exhausted, or like my limbs were made of jelly and I just couldn't lift them. That is what I had been dealing with. Yesterday I got up, and I cleaned my kitchen, and it felt amazing! It was wonderful having my my dishes done, and being able to move around without anything impeding me. I finished cleaning around one, and usually, that is when I crash my hardest. Except I didn't. It was weird. I even got into bed as has become my habit, waiting for that tiredness to knock me across the head and render me unconscious. Like normal. Except it didn't happen. 

Jeffrey got home from work, and laid down next to me. We talked briefly about his day and mine before the kids were all crowded in on top of us. I call our bed a clown bed, because it is so tiny, and shouldn't be able to fit the five of us on it at once. Good grief, it should only fit one adult, not two! But it makes a wonderfully cozy place for cuddling and laughing and growing our family love. 

Jeffrey pulled out his laptop and we all watched the gentlemen from Top Gear try to convert their cars into trains, and then Rowan Atkinson made us all laugh with his pronunciation of the word Bob, like only Rowan can do. 

And then it was time for a dance party in the living room. We introduced the kids to Johnny Cash's Ghost Ridders in the Sky, I showed the kids how to polka to Cotton Eye Joe, and Keith showed us the dance he made up to his favorite song- Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie by Abba. Which I just find absolutely hilarious, but he has a point, it has a wonderful beat and is very catchy! We danced until we all ended up a laughing heap on the living room floor. Because that is what is supposed to happen when music and kids are involved. They are so funny and haven't yet learned to be self conscious, and the continual chorus of "Watch me, Mom!" from the three of them just warms my heart.

At which point Keith decided he had had enough, and disappeared. We later found him- a mess of long arms and legs, face squished to his pillow, and his mouth open fishy style- in his bed, asleep. Jeffrey and I tag teamed putting the girls to bed, and then his brother called and invited him to go play video games, and I got to work on my Sharing Time lesson. 

It was such a glorious day, and I am so happy for the chance to have lived it! And I am even more excited at the prospect of having energy back, because let's face it. My house hasn't really been cleaned since July. Bits and pieces of it have, but the whole thing all together hasn't been orchestrated because I have been plum tired, and the idea of cleaning my whole house has been overwhelming and daunting. I am so happy to possibly be able to get back to it again!

Here's to another glorious day! Especially because today will contain inspired words from our leaders in the mode of the General Women's Meeting! I highly encourage all to watch it!

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Pink is lovely, except when it is in the eyes.

Monday night I didn't get much sleep. 

When Faye got home from school, I could tell her throat hurt her. She kept clearing it, and it sounded like she had a frog in there. I may have mentioned this. I tried to remedy it with hot cocoa, because although there are no healing properties to hot cocoa, it sure feels good going down!

When Faye went to bed, though, she coughed so much that I couldn't sleep. So I got the humidifier out for her.

Tuesday was no better. I have been pumping her full of liquid and vitamin C.

Yesterday, however, I noticed Beth's eyes were goopy.

When she woke up this morning, they were sealed closed with the goop. Which meant a quick visit to the doctor office. I called the moment they opened this morning because our doctor is amazing and everyone wants to see him, which means he is really hard to get in to see, and the only way I would stand a chance would be to call first thing in the morning.

The only appointment they had was 10:20. In our doctor office speak, that actually means 10:45-11:00. Faye gets out of school at 11:00. I decided it would be easiest if I just checked her out of school and brought her with me. When I got to the school, the office lady went to her class and got her, and when she got to me, she was steaming mad! Faye was furious with me for checking her out of school. Why couldn't Beth go to the doctor after school?! She flounced out to the van, threw the door open, climbed in and slammed the door. By the time Beth and I got back out there, she was in tears. She didn't want to miss school, it was her first time ever having a substitute! And she didn't get to finish cutting out her clock, and why did I have to come right then anyway? Keith is right, I always come at the worst times in the world.!!!

Her anger made me so happy. I am glad that she didn't want to leave school. Keith tries to invent reasons to not go, and Faye gets mad if she can't. What funny kids they are!

We got to the doctor office 5 minutes early, and didn't get to see the doctor until 10:50. But I know that is because he is so amazing. He doesn't rush his patients, and wants to make sure all concerns are met before he leaves. He is absolutely amazing like that. We got our diagnosis, and I was right. Conjunctivitis, of course. Beth seems to get it a lot more than the other kids. Her red spot eye is always a little worse when she does have it, so it is something we are watching. I called the pediatric ophthalmologist today, and the soonest they can get her in is January. And that is only if I am willing to drive down to Orem. I told them I am. I missed her last appointment because it was around the time I was going through a miscarriage. That wasn't a fun month. Anyway, I love my doctor is the gist of it. I got the eye drops for Beth, and some specialized diaper rash cream because the girl has had a diaper rash for about three months now. I keep thinking potty training will cure it, and she keeps being on the cusp of potty training, just never committing. 

When we got home, we quickly had lunch and it was nap time. I told Faye it was nap time, and to go in her room and she could read or play, or clean, but she couldn't make a noise, and she couldn't come out. And then I tucked myself into bed...

... and tossed and turned from my amplified restless legs that pregnancy always gives me. Just as I was falling asleep, Faye decided to jiggle her doorknob a million times, and then go to the bathroom, which of course pulled me out of the beginnings of sleep. Once she went back to her room, I fought the RLS again, and then just as I was about to fall asleep, Jeffrey got home from work. He offered to take Faye with him to pick up Keith, and I told them to go, immediately! For the third and final time, I was falling asleep. I was nearly there, when a train came and blew its whistle, thus startling me out of my nearly sleeping state. Startling me by making me jump, making the adrenaline pump through my body, ruining all chances for sleep.

And so I woke up, and I did what any sane person would do. I angrily searched Union Pacific Railroad quiet zones on the internet. I learned about what is needed to zone them and enforce them. I found out when my city council meets, and I am going to go before city council, demanding that all trains which go through neighborhoods not be allowed to blow their whistles. They do it in the middle of the night every night. 2:33 to be exact. I don't understand why they would do that, seeing as how the tracks are completely blocked off with barriers, and no one could possibly be on the tracks anyway, and everybody and their dog were sleeping until that whistle blows. Then the dogs wake up, and I am sure most of the neighborhood. Except Jeffrey never hears any of this and thinks I am just dreaming it, but it would be weird to have such a specific recurring dream every single night, right? And also, I worry about when the baby comes. With the whistle blowing and waking up a baby, I'm not sure I would ever be able to forgive UPR. Especially since my backyard sort of borders the tracks. Sort of. 

Enough of my rant. I quickly moved on from that to working on Primary, and I am happily preparing for the Primary Program which will be this Sunday! I am nervous and excited, and I have to keep reminding myself that even if it doesn't go as well as I anticipate it, nothing can ruin a primary program. Any mishaps only add to the charm, and everyone always loves it, no matter what. Because it is a program made up entirely of children. And crazy cute ones, might I add. I have had a few nightmares, but no biggie,because they were just my subconscious way of eliminating all possibilities and scenarios. We will be awesome.